Multifunctioning

Or am I? Actually, this is in regards to a Canon multifunction system I just adopted from someone the other day. It's old, and the drivers and software I'm using are really intended for Windows 95 or 3.1x (not what I use), but... it worketh!! Needs ink, though, and I'm actually not sure if that worketh or not since the ink is currently empty. I may buy some, not sure, may not be worth it. I really wanted it for the fax/scanner features. Now I can fax from home and even scan (even if it's only 200dpi and only black and white). Great for copying packing slips and bills and such and storing them forever on CDR. Less paper in my file cabinets. Yay!! Okay, okay, so I still want a new system, but... that'll come when I get a new laptop or possibly a Mac. Not before.

Hm. I'm starving. HOLY MOLY it's like... REALLY LATE for breakfast considering the time I woke up (something like five hours ago). I've got to find food soon. Maybe my chai will be delivered today. Prolly not. ::sigh:: Methinks a little bit of steak immersed in coriander and marjoram will help the stomach rumbling issue. Maybe a bit of saffron-enhanced rice to go with. And perhaps some stir-fried veggies and some soymilk and maybe a little soup -- okay, I might be in a cooking mood...

Must feed techie nature,

~nvnohi

Still alive...

...barely. Had to work a couple of midnight shifts, stay late for one of them,
and then work the following day (um, 22 hours later) for 12 hours, so
I've been a bit off lately. Namely, glimpsing dark and light things
that may or may not be there, thinking the stairs are coming at me
while my feet feel like they aren't touching anything, and seeing
sparkly white dancing things when there isn't any pretty snow beneath
a street light. I really hope the light and dark things weren't real. Especially the one that smelled like skunk, considering it was in the office... and I *really* hate the things that look like shadowy people moving in my peripheral vision. The light things are bad enough.

Having called in this morning to say that I'd be coming in LATE due
to all of the above, I managed to sleep 12 hours straight and then
another three of slightly interrupted time (guy at work had to call
me back to tell me it was okay for me to come in late versus them
finding someone else).

Let's just say that I'll have worked all three shifts in a one week
period of time as of Monday when I work second shift. I am NOT a
happy camper, but after tonight's sleep I'll be slightly less weird
and a bit more... reasonable. LOL.

See, my problem is that I /can't/ sleep during the day unless I'm
VERY overtired or quite sick (such as when I have the whole-body
flu). So, despite a few hours before work when the sun had set and a
few naps at work (and don't tell me I was a bad employee or I'll bite
your head off), I only had about six hours of sleep in 48 hours.

Any complaints? Bite me. Computer troubles? /I'll/ show YOU
computer troubles. How'd one feel up your-- heh, well, anyway, I'm
feeling MUCH better now... I only need about six more hours of sleep on top
of my usual to be normal. People who say people can't catch up on
sleep are sadly mistaken. And the next time someone says it's all in
the mind, I'm going to show them what I'm like when I don't sleep for
two days...

Stupid daylight, the worst part is, no one really DOES see me when
I'm totally weirded out! As soon as daylight comes out, I'm wide
awake again! This, even though I'm in a dungeon where no daylight
exists aside from dim fluorescent ceiling lights and the lovely glow
of monitor radiation... it's always been like that, too, and doesn't
seem to be changing one single bit. I can lock myself in the darkest of closets and even put a humming computer outside, and still wide awake until daylight fades from without my building, give or take an hour. I don't know HOW my body knows what it's doing out there, but it does. Easier during winter months with the shorter days, but zheezh...

Anyway, I might actually have COMPANY tomorrow at some point so I'm going to go finish picking up the junk all over the livingroom and then I'm headed to bed. I suppose I should eat supper before then, too, huh? Yeah. Okay, I'll do that as well...

Hating all computer rooms except my own tonight - oh, heck, what am I saying, I don't hate the rooms, only being forced into them at ungodly hours, oh my God this is sad, even when I'm screwed up and hating work again I still have this undying loyalty toward computers!! UGH!! ::sigh:: Fine. Anyway...

Even feeling techiesh in my sleep (or lack thereof),

~nvnohi

Return Of The King

I finally saw it this past Monday!! The third installment of Lord Of The Rings!!

The first movie was good, but it [obviously] led into the second. Given the number of characters in the story, this meant LOTS of introductions. Interesting history catch-up, though; Galadriel's voice at the beginning really made things work well. Eventually the story picked up and it became evident that this was no ordinary battle of good and evil.

Then came the SECOND movie, The Two Towers, the movie to rule them all. Medievallish fighting is really the only form of fighting I don't mind watching. This fit right in with that and even added some humour between two competitive creatures whilst doing so. The quest established, we met more characters (a bit more slowly this time), fought bad guys, and found some triumph in the darkness. The ending promised a fabulous ride the next time around.

However, Return Of The King, the third and final installment of the trilogy, is a little bit of a disappointment for me. While it was very good, it simply did not live up to the standards set forth by The Two Towers. My biggest pet peeve was the fadeout effect that some moron decided would be cool to put in between several seemingly good-ending scenes. I kept thinking, "What? It can't be over... they left a whole bunch of stuff ou-- oh. It's /not/ over yet..." That was annoying and scary for me and in my opinion very poor taste. Also, Gollum seemed to have changed a little too much from the second to the third, as if he were a similar but different set of personalities. Perhaps the most interesting piece of the movie was in the beginning, when Gollum's past was brought forth - they had the CGI turning into Andy Serkis and vice-versa. That was a stroke of genius, contrasting the two, showing us how Smeágol turned into his evil, ring-induced counterpart. The ending was a bit too soft for my taste considering the depth of the story. It's as if you were riding a roller coaster. First you go slowly up, reach a slight decline, and slowly accelerate. Then at the very end where the train drops at a 90 degree angle, the brakes are slammed down on screeching metal. Things slow down to an unbelievable crawl while the traincar makes its way back to the level track. The adrenaline is gathered and slowly poured over the side onto the ground below. And then, just when you think that perhaps things will pick up again, and your adrenaline begins to rush once more, you bump softly into a pastel-painted sign that simply tells you when that adrenaline /should/ have been used: half an hour ago! I mean, come on, so things must end, but zheezh, does it have to go out with such a calm ending?

Evil.

That's all I have to say.

~nvnohi

Sigh.

I have been /very/ inspired to start writing stories again, but for some reason I can't find this story I'd begun a while back... and that's the one I really want to continue writing. I found the beginning, but I know for a FACT that I'd written a LOT more on it and now I can't, for the life of me, find the darned thing.

And I'm eating plain macaroni. Where on earth did my tastebuds come from, anyway? The worst part is that I'm actually enjoying this stuff... maybe I was hungrier than I'd thought...?? Oh well. Restlessness is subsiding into sleep I think. Hm. I just realized that I put someone's CD case back together in that someone's car earlier. Whups. Fixing things without even realizing it... well, at least it was something to do while I wondered what to say...

~nvnohi

The Icy Steps

This is actually a true story... ::cringe::

I didn't want to go to school that day, but made myself, and just barely caught public transportation to get there, albeit the late run. 75 cents to stand up amongst jostling, cursing students who were at least two feet taller than me and had no problem proving that fact by bumping my nose with their hanging elbows. I was only glad no one farted, because that would have reminded me of this one time when I was about ten and also on the bus standing up behind this guy whose butt was right in front of my face... Anyway...

Finally, the bus stopped and I began the long trek down the path to the door of the accursed school where English teachers had nothing better to do than tell me to write about moronic things like door knobs. I pushed and shoved my way through the slow herd of wilderbeasts, slipping and sliding on the icy walkway to the best of my ability so that I wouldn't be as late for school. The other students had their fun preventing me from a smooth passing, but no matter. I got through and continued on, alone, down the walk toward the door.

The door was locked. I went back around the winding railing to shouts of "Haha, that poor sob, the door was locked" and decided to attempt a different door. The only other one nearby was the one at the top of three steps. That would work!!

Alas, I remember not how it could have happened. I approached the steps. My foot remembers only that at one moment it was settling upon one of the steps and within a second its heel was lying upon the ground, the rest of the foot sticking straight up, the body attached to its ankle lying parallel to the icy ground, thus supine; my eyes staring blankly - disbelievingly - up at the cold blue sky.

Hideously insane laughter arose from only a short distance away. Those accursed students! How dare they laugh at my demise!! I had to get away from them all. They laughed all the harder as my arms and legs flailed upon the icy ground like a cockroach lying upside down on a piece of duct tape. I could _not_ get up. With a determined breath, I slowly flipped myself over and managed to locate the metal rail attached to the evil stairs. Despite my hand freezing upon contact, it maintained its grip on this rail and with this seemingly unwilling assistance I managed to slip and slide up the stairs. My other hand took hold of the doorknob.

Laughter, even more evil than before, arose once more as I slid my way down the stairs to find the main entrance. Locked doors were beginning to REALLY irritate me. Especially those located at the top of highly icy steps which really should have been salted hours ago so that certain students wouldn't break their loser necks.

The laughing continued. It pulsated through my being, churning the anger which grew with every slippery step. I finally reached the main entrance with the stupid crowd not far behind me. They'd had a couple of opportunities to catch up to my swift feet, and they did.

I took my late pass to my first class and settled dishearteningly into the tiny chair. Suddenly my spirits rose a little bit. At least I, with my small frame, could FIT into the tiny chair. Those dopes on the bus certainly couldn't fit so well as I!! A slight smile played upon my lips in smug satisfaction. I wasn't the only one with issues.

The Bird Who Wouldn't Fly South

I was just writing to a friend and gave this parable, which I believe my mom told me years ago. I've always loved it and since I've had the opportunity to type it again, I'll post it here as well. I love copy and paste.

Once there was a little birdie that decided he didn't want to fly south for the winter. So, as the other birds flew away, he stayed behind. Then the winds came, and soon the snow. Before long the birdie decided that perhaps he would be better off following the others after all, so he took off from his cold, bare tree branch.

He flew against the cold wind, but soon ice formed on his wings and he could no longer fly. He fell to the ground into a cow pasture, cold, shivering, and miserable. As it so happened, a cow happened along and flapped on the little birdie.

The warmth from the flap thawed the bird out and he was so happy he began to sing!! How good it felt to be warm again!! However, the farm's cat heard the singing and came to investigate. Upon finding the bird in the flap, it promptly pulled him out and ate him.

Three morals to this story:

1. Someone who shits on you isn't necessarily your enemy.
2. Someone who pulls you out of a pile of shit isn't necessarily your friend.
3. If you're happy in a pile of shit, keep your beak shut about it.

Of course, this also illustrates that sometimes the crowd is right, but this is the chance we all have to take when we think for ourselves. Personally, I'd rather be the bird than the cat. That poop couldn't have tasted very good...

~nvnohi

Pacific Chai, 6lb Plastic Jars

Pacific Chai, 6lb Plastic Jars

This... this... THIS is cool. I got my first (and thus far only) bag of Chai, 16oz, at Thinkgeek.com for about nine bucks, and fell in love with this awesome Asian drink (okay, I'm hooked, shut up). But if you go to the above site, you can find six times that amount of chai for only $39. Six bags of the stuff would have cost me $56, at the least, $48 (I think I saw a site that sold the bags for $8 instead of $9). AND it comes in a plastic jar, soooo much easier to QUICKLY get chai out of than a clutsy bag that might be easier to (gasp) spill chai from!!

Awesome. I'm gonna be bouncing off the walls and ceilings of my house for the rest of my life, however.

Still trying to find a way to modify a folder to show the SECONDS under modified as well as the date and hh:mm... I KNOW there's a hack out there somewhere...

Trying to be techie, but ultimately failing due to folder modify obsession,

~nvnohi

Oscillations

Been discussing music and talents with a friend who appears to have other things on her mind, so I've decided to come here to finger blab for a while since it's obvious I'm really having more of a discussion with myself than with her. I might as well talk to myself for a while instead of bugging her. LOL. (Not to say she's being rude, she's not, it's just that for her she's VERY quiet. Obviously immersed in something else.)

Basically, it began with her trying to help me stretch my vocal chords a bit. She's in a choir or was and has apparently learned MANY more techniques than I have. I discovered with a little vocal exercise that I've gained another octave in my own voice!! I was pleasantly surprised!! Not that that upper octave is particularly comfy, but it's there, and what I once thought of as my upper register is now easily played with. Amazing, the things the voice can do over time.

Anyway, we eventually got into a conversation about talent. I have no musical talent to speak of. This is something I'd been unhappy about for quite some time. Consequently, it is also something I decided was not going to stop me from learning to carry a tune. So, it didn't. Nonetheless, I have come to understand and even accept that I'll never go much farther than learning techniques that enable my voice to sound somewhat presentable.

This eventually led our conversation to writing, which I've been told I /do/ have a talent for. What causes these talents? Is it in the genes? Is it physical? From elementary school I recall being told that I was a natural writer. I never understood what that meant at first but enjoyed the attention from my teachers over it. Then they decided they wanted me to change my style, which elicited a strong reaction from me: No, I'll write what I like to write, thanks.

Now, years later, I continue writing whenever my soul needs to speak, whenever my mind is anxious to be expressed, whenever my feelings need to escape throught the rapid pitter-patter of restless fingers. More people have mentioned how well I write, how much enthusiasm and energy can flow into my words. More people have told me to get myself published. Even my own mother, who once told me that she hated the detail in my writing even though it was good, is now undeniably impressed with my abilities and the skills I've apparently honed throughout the years. She recently asked me if something she wrote was any good! My mother asked me this!! I read her writing, and suddenly I understood how teachers knew I was a good, and natural, writer. In this work she had created, I saw myself in years past, detailing little bits of thoughts here and there, choppy but intact. Her details were more succinct, of course - that is her nature, to be direct. Yet, I found myself absorbed in her words, drawn in like current to a wet conductor, only vaguely aware that some wording could be changed, a comma here, a period there perhaps - little details, nothing that would sacrifice the meaning of her text. My mind wanted more and was disappointed to find nothing beyond her last word. I knew at that very moment from whom I may have inherited this talent from, and I told her so.

So, if talents are inherited, does that mean they're physical? Or does it mean that children glean skills from their parents that they would normally not learn early enough to seem a natural at whatever the art may be? How early in life can a talent be noticed? Do some people really go through life without finding out what their own talents are? And if so, do they have any at all?

These questions, and many others, haunt my mind at times. They stalk me in my sleep and tickle the edge of my consciousness until they wear themselves out in the hopelessness of ever being answered. I will say, however, that I enjoy these thoughts. Without them, my mind would be empty, bored, even dead.

And I'm done rambling for now. LOL. Feeling slightly techie today but more ponderous...

~nvnohi

Every Breath You Take

Yanno, despite the lyrics sounding like a stalker's, the song is quite neat. The bass is steady, and what sounds like a guitar whose strings are being stifled - this, this is what makes the song.

I sit here with my head in a fog; my mind is in quiet mode. The racing thoughts that normally abound have taken holiday and left me somewhat lonely, yet at peace, such a quiet, otherworldly peace. It's probably because I've barely eaten today, but regardless of the reason, I'm calmly enjoying every sweet moment of it. This is the perfect time to read, write, or program. Once I finish with this post, I'll probably go read my boards, and then finish the book I've been trying to finish for a little over a month. Yes, a month. I recall a time when I could read a book in two days. How obsessions change.

Walking home this evening, I watched the snow falling daintily in front of me, passing my hood and tumbling quietly toward the ground where my feet pressed many of them into tight clusters. There was no wind. I saw no stars, only clouds. The silence was perfect; if it were not for the music emanating from the earphones, I probably could have heard the snow creeping down the hood of my warm parka. Normally my feet press forward quickly on my way home, but not tonight. Tonight, they crept slowly, carefully, across the snow and ice until I regretfully reached my dwelling. Once there, I of course went inside, but such a large part of me seems to have stayed with the light flutter of the white sparkles and the heavily-burdened trees. Every breath I take is caught within their branches and gently shakes the collected snow to the ground.

For now, I sit here with the scene still fresh in my mind, the next best thing, and I listen to music about stalking. I also munch on some amaranth and quinoa, filling my stubbornly-growling stomach.

Now I'm going to go read up on my groups.

Crunchy Quinoa,

~nvnohi

Ethereal is still surreal. Now if only my brain were awake!

Playing with Ethereal again. Other than that, I've been chatting online for a good part of the day, listening to music, answering the (#&$(*#&%)(#$^)#%&(&A)@*!# phone and oh yeah, speaking of phones, the stooopid weather decided to cause a cancellation on me which I am willing to accept but not all that giddy about. Drat. ::disappointment crosses face for second time at memory of phone call:: Well, 'sall good. It started snowing again, oh, joyous life! How awesome it is to live where it snows such pretty white fluffy stuff that settles upon one's hair and drags them down into the frozen tundra with it as it solidifies into snowbanks that collect acidic dirt. Yes, indeed, I love snow.

Actually, I'd rather have snow than ice, but unfortunately the two often go hand in hand, so...

ONTO fluffier subjects (no pun intended, just unadmiringly terrible at wit today)... my stomach is not flipping over into miniature knots, AND I have today off so technically I can sit here at this computer into tomorrow and actually enjoy it without listening to the pitter patter of a heart flip flopping all over my intestines. Okay, that wasn't so fluffy. That was actually slightly more on the morose side. Or something. My writing is certainly NOT up to par today... most likely because my mind is full of junk and not particularly clear at the moment. Perhaps I'll go dance around my house and pick up some clutter while doing some general cleaning. That might clear my head a bit. We'll see...

Brain floating in murky sea-water so as to confuse poor techie,

~nvnohi

Sarän

Yesterday, as I have mentioned, I received Soran's baby sister, Sarän. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!! Had a bit of trouble hotsynching her to Selene, but after a hard reset, she's fully functional (and completely clean and fresh). It's so cool, I can beam stuff from Soran to her!! LOL!! Currently I've got her in Soran's cradle so she can charge up, she's a bit on the low battery side right now after all she's been through. But her first synch! ::screams happy motherly scream:: Gosh, I love computers, even little ones!! Okay, so, actually these two can do more than Chris ever could have, but they're tiny in size!!

Thus far Selene, Soran and Sarän seem to be playing nicely together, we'll see if that continues. LOL. Sibling rivalry, don't y'know.

Well, I'm gonna go post on my boards and study some more C!

Feeling rather techieish tonight,

~nvnohi

...getting ... sleepy...

...very ... sleepy...

having one last cup of chai against my better judgement. Boy, it is warming to the soul. Makes me sleepy at first, then wakes me up for a good couple hours. HAS to have caffeine in it. Black tea, that would make sense. Anyway, I think I'll take a nap before work as it's quite late for me.

There. Drank down the rest of the warm fuzzy stuff. I suppose I should go to sleep now rather than a few minutes from now. Then again, now is now, and now is now, and now is STILL now... a few minutes from now is STILL NOW!! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Going to bed now... techie or not!!

~nvnohi

C programming, overall contentedness

Wow, am I content tonight or what... maybe because I'm kind of pampering myself and feeling rather productive today. So far I've fixed an issue I had at school - I CAN take these two classes I wanted to take instead of English Composition and some weird course about learning (as if I need that one)... then I did a small amount of shopping and only spent eight bucks on butter, crackers, cherries, and chai... then I did a little more shopping at the food co-op and ended up spending almost three bucks on eight eggs (okay, not so productive, but food store didn't get their delivery due to storm). THEN I managed to catch the bus home just before it left!! The whole trip down there only took me about 1.5 hours.

I stopped at work before heading home and picked up all three packages that I'd been expecting. I knew about two of them but apparently the third came today before I got there. (yay!) I packed my bag more and introduced a few people to my Soran's new baby sister, "Sarän," who is a SILVER version of Soran (very nice, albeit antiquated, pda). I nabbed it on ebay a few weeks ago and she finally arrived, safe, sound, and in VERY good shape. Speaking of which, I should go leave some excellent feedback...

Included in the packages were also a few christmas gifts for coworkers and family, and of course for myself... *grin* Hey, I'm not TOTALLY selfless... shopping online is a BAD thing for me to do, especially when I'm shopping for fellow geeks...

And then I came home, put away my stuff, made a cup of chai for the first time and sat down to catch up on some boards I've been a bit lax on as of late. I was sooo glad I caught up on one in particular - I never realize how much I miss the place until I go back to it after two months!! Got a warm welcome right off, too. Such a nice place. In fact, this was the board that introduced my eyes to the word chai in the first place. It was when I first tasted this lovely beverage that I realized I HAD to let everyone know I finally tried some and just how awesome it is! At some point I realized, too, that I'd forgotten to post to the RP I'm in, so I did that and then returned to praise chai some more and bask in the friendly atmosphere.

Once I finished there, I sat down with the C book that my boss gave me a month or so ago and actually got INTO it again. I even did the questions at the end of the chapter, and in earnest. Talked with Mom for a while, finished the chapter, and decided to make dinner: Veggies, pasta and biscuits with chocolate soymilk. While waiting for that to finish cooking, I did yesterday's dishes, and then I sat down to eat with my chopsticks in tow. Haha.

Now I'm typing this and finishing my dinner, bopping to some eighties music and feeling soooooooo cool and collected.

Quiet, calm and still feeling techieish,

~nvnohi

When you say nothing at all

Listening to Keith Whitley's "When You Say Nothing At All" and ... for a newer country song, this is pretty nice. Certainly got me into a writing mode - at least, for a little while. Reminds me of many times in my life when I've witnessed silence offering more communication than every word in the dictionary ever could. It's amazing - we're born with silent intuition, a sense of what others are thinking. Then we learn body language, to speak and write and understand using whatever language we're brought up with, and grammar to say things "properly." Many of us learn additional languages as a means of communicating with even more people.

Yet the basis of interpersonal relationships is still the unsaid, the unspoken, the silence that penetrates even the coldest of hearts. There is no "proper" way for this silent communication to speak. A look of love, passion, excitement, lust, hate, dismay, depression. It's all there in the eyes, registering in the face, projecting an aura of itself onto the subject at hand to communicate what only it can say. The words we utter from day to day are so inadequate to cover the full range of emotion behind the eyes, deep in the soul. They simply do not describe us at all.

Why, then, do we have language at all? For years I've struggled to express myself, to make people understand me, to get it across that I'm more than what I appear to be on the surface. I've attempted short stories, longer stories which I could never seem to finish, and of course poetry. My ramblings are perhaps the most honest of all, merely recording what I'm thinking as I think. Yet I still feel misunderstood, like I'm a mere sum of my parts to so many people. As if everyone has set up blinds on their windows so I can't see them. In effect, they've had to peep through at me by lifting one blind slightly, disturbing a wealth of dust and thus obstructing what should be a perfect view. So, they see me with narrowing restrictions in an otherwise wonderfully clear window.

Whoa, and I just fell asleep at the keyboard. I somehow broke away from the mesmerizing stars, but I've a feeling that evading them will not last long. This in mind, I shall continue this thought in my dreams.

Feeling a bit more ponderous than techie,

~nvnohi

Cookies and coupons and ebay OH MY

I'm gonna kill this friend of mine. I was *perfectly* happy paying whatever was asked for all kinds of goodies and things that I wanted (except of course when I was comparing prices on the net). Then SHE had to come along, the coupon-clipping, eager-ebaying, sale-shopping spendthrift!! ARRRRGH!!

Now I've got bags of cookies that I can't stop myself from eating because OMG they were CHEAP with those coupons she handed me, and whoa, these crackers are going to be coming out of my ears once I finish off THOSE coupons... and now, to make things worse, I've actually taken a few peeks at ebay myself! So now I've got this anticipation growing for these coupons that should make their ways to my mailbox in the next couple weeks, and who knows how addicted to this I'm gonna get. It's not like I've got no addictions already: computers, music, Energy drinks, learning... how much more CAN I get addicted to? I DON'T NEED ANY MORE ADDICTIONS!! Or as I prefer to call them, /passions/... sounds better, no?

Regardless, she'd better be looking for a coupon on some sort of anti-choking device because she's gonna need it VERY SOON!!

Crazily clipping coupons (but still the techiest),

~nvnohi

The butterflies escaped.

I was out shopping earlier today with a friend from work and began to notice the strangest, strongest sense of nervousness going on in my stomach. It drove me crazy for a couple of hours and for a little while there I felt like I might actually expel the contents of my stomach into the air. I swear I could have swallowed a hundred desperate, invisible butterflies as I yawned (or something) in that store!! The feeling remained after I returned home, albeit lessened.

Then I decided to look up the movies for next week, since Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King is supposed to be coming out on December 17th (next Wednesday). It wasn't listed. Gotta love living where things are slow. A familiar title caught my eye and reminded me of a conversation I'd had a couple of weeks ago. Suddenly my stomach did another 180 and almost knocked me off my chair. The feeling increased as I made a decision, one that I had been avoiding for about two weeks.

I made a phone call.

Surprisingly, the butterflies appear to have escaped. My body is calm, tranquil, even at peace. Granted, my leg is jumping up and down uncontrollably beneath my desk, but that's not highly unusual for me these days. At least my stomach has settled down to a happy crawl.

Whoa, wait. No, but alas... another emotion... what is this? YIPES!! Not complete and utter nervousness accompanied by butterflies, but... yes, I do believe it's anticipation. By golly, yes, that's exactly what it is! Also, a slight twinge of regret over having made the phone call, wishing I'd given things more time, but... regret isn't worth keeping around very long. Everything happens for a reason. Either my action was better than inaction at this point for progressive reasons, or to end a sense of waiting I believe remained in my being, or perhaps even to teach me not to make such calls by offering me real experience so I know exactly why. Whatever the reason, I'll accept it when it makes itself known to me.

In the meantime, I'll focus on work and my computers and my little gerbils, and enjoy this newfound anticipation.

Feeling both techie and disturbingly bubbly,

~nvnohi

Where Horses Run

Some would say
That I don't know
What I'm doing
When I say I have to go
But I do today
As I think that I must do
I won't comply
With anyone, not even you

I have a heart, and it's alive
My soul is free and will survive
Sparkling springs beneath the sun
Amidst the fields where horses run

It's just me, my thoughts
And my desire
I won't listen to anyone
For only I can take me higher
My head is all I've got
To keep me sane
Why should I allow myself to hurt
Or live with all your pain?

I have a heart, and it's alive
My soul is free and will survive
Sparkling springs beneath the sun
Amidst the fields where horses run

No, I cannot let you see the girl
that I was so long ago
The past is past, that me is gone
A memory that I don't know
In my head new feelings swirl
Around so fast
I'm letting go of who you were
Now you're living in my past

I have a heart, and it's alive
My soul is free and will survive
Sparkling springs beneath the sun
Amidst the fields where horses run

Juno

I very recently had an IM conversation with a friend and she asked me to email her (to test a new account). So I did, and said it would be there in five minutes or under. Yeah, I know. Five minutes for one little test email? Doubtful, right? Well, that was pretty much HER response as well. So I explained my reasoning for this time allotment.

I told her, "Juno's a bit slow at times, so I always overestimate. Otherwise I have people saying, "It's not here yet. It's not here yet. Why isn't it here yet? Are you sure you sent it to id10ts@reus.com? Positive? How do you know? Are you SURE you sent it at ALL? WHY ISN'T IT HERE YET?!" Then I added, "At which point I'd get all huffy and insist Juno is THE best email program out there, despite its occasional slowness and the objections of my peers." She, of course, laughed, but it reminded me just how much of a supporter of Juno I really am. It's true that my emails can sometimes take up to a whole minute (imagine, a whole MINUTE in CYBERSPACE) to reach their destination once they've left my computer. Yes, I admit that openly. For it is not the speed at which my email travels that excites me. It is the software which my email departs from.

Oh, yes, I am an AVID supporter of Juno's email software. It's the most wonderful software I have ever used. Let me illustrate this for you.

One day, I came down to play with Selene. She's the workhorse computer I call my firstborn, and rightfully so - this is the first computer I ever built. Anyway, I'd had her on for about a week, maybe a day or two over that, without a single reboot. For Windows 98se, that's pretty darned good. Especially considering the programs I'd been opening, closing, and leaving open on her for most of that time: Cakewalk (which was open for about three days), PhotoExpress (opened and closed repeatedly for the whole week), about 20 IE windows coming and going, a few chat clients (this was prior to my knowledge of Trillian), and of course, Juno.

So, I open Juno again, amidst my dozen or so windows, and begin a rather lengthy email. On and on it goes. About a page and half worth's later, I begin noticing that the ... coloring ... looks ... odd ...

Suddenly I realize that Selene's been up and running without a reboot for over a week! And Cakewalk is still open and connected to my keyboard! AND -- uh oh, photo express is open, and... yikes!! About fifteen IE windows are open, and three chat clients...

Quickly I toggle to one of my chat clients and the colours get weirder. So I keycut to my computer properties and discover - GASP - memory resources are at, get this, SEVEN PERCENT.

For those of you familiar with Windows 98, I don't need to tell you what that means. For those of you who are currently clueless, this is a HUGE ISSUE. Windows usually demands at least 30 percent resources to remain free, and if it doesn't get them, a crash is fairly certain to occur. In fact, usually a computer will begin to get sluggish and irritable when things go below 50%. I knew then and there I had a huge problem and it was HIGHLY unlikely that I would be able to rescue my email before everything crashed.

Such is life. I grabbed Ian, my laptop, and began feverishly retyping the part of the email I could still see on Selene. I may lose the top portion of the email, but at least I'd have SOMEthing to remember my ramblings by! So I finished that, and then thought, perhaps I can just scroll up a wee bit...

I didn't get the chance to hit the arrow up key. The moment my cautious finger approached the keyboard, Selene rebooted herself. No errors, no messages, not even a warning. Just... a reboot. The screen went black, and suddenly I had the familiar boot screen. I froze, realizing my email was lost forever.

Selene finished up with her self tests and Windows ambled back into place after its all-too-familiar Scandisk application ran a few times to check all the drives. It was as if nothing had happened. I sighed and opened Juno with a heavy heart. I'd have to type that all back in, and it wouldn't be the same. Oh well. Worse things could have happened. At least Selene's hard drives were still alive and spinning.

That's when my eyes fell upon an unfamiliar message. I blinked in confusion as I read something along the lines of "Do you wish to continue an auto-saved email that occured due to an unexpected instability?" I can't remember the exact words of the message. I wish I could. But I remember that this was the essence of the message. Still in a state of confusion, I mustered enough courage to click "Yes." What appeared next shocked me to happy tears.

My email reappeared before my eyes - complete and intact, right down to the very last letter I'd typed before I'd noticed anything wrong!!

Emotions coursed through my body - surprise, excitement, pleasure, rapture, and... love. This may sound crazy to many people, but I was so happy and emotional that I jumped out of my chair and hugged Selene as tight as a girl could hug a midtower.

"I LOVE YOU!!" I sobbed, taking care not to blubber moisture on her aluminum skin.

Selene whirred modestly and said nothing.

I got up, finished my email, sent it, and vowed to myself that I would promote Juno as long as I lived. It isn't every day that you find software that can detect imminent system crashes and save your work in the nick of time.

Anyway, the website is www.juno.com and you can download the software there and sign up for free. I pay for mine, $4.95 a month, and I will continue to pay them as long as I use it because to me, it's worth their efforts. But they do offer it free-of-charge as well.

Okay, that's my blogging effort for today. Laters!

~nvnohi