Pondering Technician
I just happened to glance over at my business card and noticed that I'd put "Technician" on there under my name. At the time, I was called a "Data Center Operator" but I knew a bit more than /just/ an operator. So I didn't think it presumptuous of me to call myself a technician for my side business. After all, I have done some hardware and software troubleshooting on occasion which some of my peers had never even attempted to learn about.
Well, the thing that hit me is that I /am/ a technician at work. Yours truly was recently promoted. We did this little merging thing where everyone became a level 1 tech anyway, but a spot opened up for a level 2. So I decided to try skipping the level 1 altogether and go for what I firmly believed (and still believe) I can do well while still giving myself some strong challenges. Obviously I got the position. I am both honoured and satiated with this because I'm glad my people have bestowed trust upon me to perform this job, and that they actually noticed that I've become such a strong asset to them and deserve this promotion. (I still have trouble believing that I get paid so well for doing something I love. I wish everyone could say that.)
Still, I got to thinking a lot about the past two years and how much I've grown over this period. I think about this frequently, really, but usually it's more of a passing thought than one that strikes without warning. My customer service has always been strong, but has indeed improved over the years. My professionalism has skyrocketed. I've learned to silence myself long enough to see bigger pictures. I've toned down my reactive nature to avoid becoming emotional where it's both detrimental and unnecessary to work AND home situations. (Starting with work, believe it or not!) And finally, I have put myself into my own work ethic and continuously strive to hold myself to my own standards rather than those of others. This allows me a type of freedom that provides me with opportunities to excel, as I am not held back by worrying about what other people are thinking.
This last mindset has helped define me immensely over the last two years. Developing and sticking to my own standards has allowed me to grow beyond what my borders once were. I see myself growing even now, unlimited by what I've been told, unhindered by the wishes of others. I'm doing what I want to do, which is what I'm doing now. I know who I am, what I want, and that life is OK if you simply decide to see it that way. I now understand that when I begin feeling like my whole world is after me, it's because of some hormonal or chemical thing, or stress, or whatever, and that it's all internal to myself. Nothing outside can truly affect how I feel about myself, so yes, it's internal. When I accept this, stop blaming others for how I feel, and take responsibility for myself, it seems to pass so much more quickly than it once did. This attitude reduces guilt, too, and allows me to expand my horizons. Worrying really does not help much at all. I appreciate efficiency, so why bother wasting my energy on something that does not promote it?
This does not come without a lot of hard and stubborn work, but it's so worth it. And I now wonder, if somehow at some level, I knew over two years ago that one day I would officially be a Technician. After all, I've been known to get what I dream of - eventually. Even my childhood dream of becoming a programmer is within my reach right now. VB.NET is installed on my computer at work for that very purpose. It may take some time yet, but one day... well, you never know.
Hold onto your dreams. Sometimes they're all you have, but you never know when they'll come true.
~nv
Well, the thing that hit me is that I /am/ a technician at work. Yours truly was recently promoted. We did this little merging thing where everyone became a level 1 tech anyway, but a spot opened up for a level 2. So I decided to try skipping the level 1 altogether and go for what I firmly believed (and still believe) I can do well while still giving myself some strong challenges. Obviously I got the position. I am both honoured and satiated with this because I'm glad my people have bestowed trust upon me to perform this job, and that they actually noticed that I've become such a strong asset to them and deserve this promotion. (I still have trouble believing that I get paid so well for doing something I love. I wish everyone could say that.)
Still, I got to thinking a lot about the past two years and how much I've grown over this period. I think about this frequently, really, but usually it's more of a passing thought than one that strikes without warning. My customer service has always been strong, but has indeed improved over the years. My professionalism has skyrocketed. I've learned to silence myself long enough to see bigger pictures. I've toned down my reactive nature to avoid becoming emotional where it's both detrimental and unnecessary to work AND home situations. (Starting with work, believe it or not!) And finally, I have put myself into my own work ethic and continuously strive to hold myself to my own standards rather than those of others. This allows me a type of freedom that provides me with opportunities to excel, as I am not held back by worrying about what other people are thinking.
This last mindset has helped define me immensely over the last two years. Developing and sticking to my own standards has allowed me to grow beyond what my borders once were. I see myself growing even now, unlimited by what I've been told, unhindered by the wishes of others. I'm doing what I want to do, which is what I'm doing now. I know who I am, what I want, and that life is OK if you simply decide to see it that way. I now understand that when I begin feeling like my whole world is after me, it's because of some hormonal or chemical thing, or stress, or whatever, and that it's all internal to myself. Nothing outside can truly affect how I feel about myself, so yes, it's internal. When I accept this, stop blaming others for how I feel, and take responsibility for myself, it seems to pass so much more quickly than it once did. This attitude reduces guilt, too, and allows me to expand my horizons. Worrying really does not help much at all. I appreciate efficiency, so why bother wasting my energy on something that does not promote it?
This does not come without a lot of hard and stubborn work, but it's so worth it. And I now wonder, if somehow at some level, I knew over two years ago that one day I would officially be a Technician. After all, I've been known to get what I dream of - eventually. Even my childhood dream of becoming a programmer is within my reach right now. VB.NET is installed on my computer at work for that very purpose. It may take some time yet, but one day... well, you never know.
Hold onto your dreams. Sometimes they're all you have, but you never know when they'll come true.
~nv
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