Didn't I tell ya I'd be back?
Well, by the time I got back to my shopping experience, my cart was emptied. I didn't feel like clickity-ing anymore so I gave up for today, but I did click on a few more things just to see what they were. I saw these things at Victoria's Secrets called "adhesives." I started wondering again what women wear when they wear backless dresses and such. Perhaps these? What about people looking for more [support]? So off I went to research. Not that I wear backless anythings, but I've been curious for years, and you never know when I might decide to change my look as a way to shock people for a few days. Hehheh. That's when I somehow stumbled into wedding dresses.
Why, may I ask, do people find it necessary to put themselves into a gown which:
1. requires some special (probably very uncomfortable) shoe
2. requires some special (probably very uncomfortable) bra
3. requires talented people to help you put it on
4. requires slow deliberate walking to avoid trippance
5. poofs out like an afro (I see this as knocking-things-over material)
6. costs a gazillion bucks
7. will only be worn once because even if not for sentimental or pass-it-down reasons, is WAY too impractical to be worn ANY OTHER TIME IN ONE'S NATURAL LIFE??
My idea of a wedding dress is:
1. Fully covers one's body.
2. You can walk in it.
3. It's a style AND colour that the bride actually likes for any other day's wear.
4. It doesn't cost exponentially more than your typical clothing.
5. It's adjustable in such a way that the only adjustments that need doing are hemming for short people and letting down for tall people. (Good for passing down for those who like that sort of thing, or in case someone gains a pound.)
6. It's not necessarily reserved only for weddings, although it could be.
7. It's long enough to cover whatever shoes you decide to wear. These may be ankle boots with the typical black crew socks.
Oh yeah, and leave my hair alone... I'll wear jewelry at my wedding (if I ever have one) but anyone who wants to make me afraid to move lest my hair get ruined is going to get sacked.
Now, my other thing is, why do people want BIG weddings? Yeah yeah, to show each other's undying love in front of a mass of people. What business is it of theirs? I know marriage was once a more communal event. I understand that. But nowdays, at least where I'm from, marriage is supposed to be about love, respect, and the relationship, not the communal question, "Do they know our rules, and will they produce viable, desirable offspring that can plow our fields and lead our community later on when we're all dead?" (Of course, my offspring would more likely be running its own mainframe by the time it was born, not plowing fields, but hey, there could be a throwback.)
I think marriage is still a holy, preferably permanent arrangement and should not be taken lightly. However, all the planning that goes into one? Get rid of that. Simply wait six months or more to make sure you really want to do it. Then get the two little lovegeeks in the room, add zero or more extremely important witnesses (by important, I mean important to the two getting married, not important in the community), get your marrying-you person, dress respectfully (no ripped jeans unless that's considered respectful to those involved), exchange vows, be pronounced people, smile for the digital camera you've placed on a tripod and set to go off in ten seconds, and get back online before you miss a stupid email about a boy who got run over by a lizard five years ago and is now asking you to forward the email on to 100 of your friends so he can get five cents added to his bank account and thus become the toeless typist he always wanted to be.
Simple, efficient, and cost-effective so you can buy that next computer you've been drooling over. Or a house. Or whatever makes more sense than wasting time and money on a wedding you'll only experience once (unless you weren't as sure as you thought you were).
My two cents... LOL (Maybe I should contribute to that boy's fund...)
~nv
Why, may I ask, do people find it necessary to put themselves into a gown which:
1. requires some special (probably very uncomfortable) shoe
2. requires some special (probably very uncomfortable) bra
3. requires talented people to help you put it on
4. requires slow deliberate walking to avoid trippance
5. poofs out like an afro (I see this as knocking-things-over material)
6. costs a gazillion bucks
7. will only be worn once because even if not for sentimental or pass-it-down reasons, is WAY too impractical to be worn ANY OTHER TIME IN ONE'S NATURAL LIFE??
My idea of a wedding dress is:
1. Fully covers one's body.
2. You can walk in it.
3. It's a style AND colour that the bride actually likes for any other day's wear.
4. It doesn't cost exponentially more than your typical clothing.
5. It's adjustable in such a way that the only adjustments that need doing are hemming for short people and letting down for tall people. (Good for passing down for those who like that sort of thing, or in case someone gains a pound.)
6. It's not necessarily reserved only for weddings, although it could be.
7. It's long enough to cover whatever shoes you decide to wear. These may be ankle boots with the typical black crew socks.
Oh yeah, and leave my hair alone... I'll wear jewelry at my wedding (if I ever have one) but anyone who wants to make me afraid to move lest my hair get ruined is going to get sacked.
Now, my other thing is, why do people want BIG weddings? Yeah yeah, to show each other's undying love in front of a mass of people. What business is it of theirs? I know marriage was once a more communal event. I understand that. But nowdays, at least where I'm from, marriage is supposed to be about love, respect, and the relationship, not the communal question, "Do they know our rules, and will they produce viable, desirable offspring that can plow our fields and lead our community later on when we're all dead?" (Of course, my offspring would more likely be running its own mainframe by the time it was born, not plowing fields, but hey, there could be a throwback.)
I think marriage is still a holy, preferably permanent arrangement and should not be taken lightly. However, all the planning that goes into one? Get rid of that. Simply wait six months or more to make sure you really want to do it. Then get the two little lovegeeks in the room, add zero or more extremely important witnesses (by important, I mean important to the two getting married, not important in the community), get your marrying-you person, dress respectfully (no ripped jeans unless that's considered respectful to those involved), exchange vows, be pronounced people, smile for the digital camera you've placed on a tripod and set to go off in ten seconds, and get back online before you miss a stupid email about a boy who got run over by a lizard five years ago and is now asking you to forward the email on to 100 of your friends so he can get five cents added to his bank account and thus become the toeless typist he always wanted to be.
Simple, efficient, and cost-effective so you can buy that next computer you've been drooling over. Or a house. Or whatever makes more sense than wasting time and money on a wedding you'll only experience once (unless you weren't as sure as you thought you were).
My two cents... LOL (Maybe I should contribute to that boy's fund...)
~nv
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