New Years Remembrance
Today is January 1st, 2006!! I remember that at this time last year I had barely fallen into bed after being dropped off by a couple friends. I'd gone to a saloon two nights in a row to watch one of them play his last two performances with his band. And I got sooooooooooooooo sloshed both times. Great way to start a year, huh? Why do people do that I wonder? But my reasoning at the time was "Screw it, this past year wasn't as great as it could have been, I'm going to go out and live life this year and see what I'm missing. I'm going to get drunk on New Year's, get some dancing done, interact, celebrate, maybe even have a hangover, though hopefully not... and then, after all that, I'm going to get my driver's license, get myself a vehicle, go full time at some point, stop caring about work so much, get my arse away from computers more often, and start hiking and enjoying myself and who I've become! And I'm not gonna be too focused on any guys, either, because I don't need 'em!"
So I did. I went out and got my license in February, went rock climbing with friends, carefully stopped caring so much about work, accidentally "met" Aflac, got my truck, Dante, met Aflac in person, started hiking, fell in love, met more friends... wait. What about my last resolution? Ah, but that was also held true - I don't /need/ Aflac, I /love/ Aflac. There's a difference!
So, I'd have to say that I did exactly what I'd planned to do last year. There were a few stumblings, of course, but I kept picking myself up and forging ahead with due force. I reached the height of my quest about a week ago when I was submersed in the Christmas Spirit.
Last night/this morning, Aflac and I were downtown both at 8 and at midnight, wandering around and watching fireworks and listening to shouting of "Happy New Year" and all that stuff. People moved on after the fireworks but we lingered and got some pictures of the town. Then we noticed the drunks also lingering and decided it might be best if we, too, dispersed! So we got back to our nice warm place and expressed more excitement over this new year before collapsing up the stairs and into bed. It was 1am something. Quite a ways past MY bedtime, but not nearly as late as it had been last year when I stumbled home and into the bed which I couldn't even notice the warmth of given my drunken stupour.
I was thinking about this as we got back in the car so early this morning. How lucky I am that it was a two-night drinking episode that had less to do with flushing out my woes and all to do with progress! If it had been the former, who knows... maybe it would have been the indicator of a new alcoholic. But instead I purged the alcohol from my system and did what I wanted to do in order to experience life. Not everyone is so determined or lucky to come so possibly close to ruining their lives and instead pick themselves up higher than ever.
And the best part is that I know Aflac is only one reason for my steadfastness. It's me who decided to push forward and get things done. He's offered some wonderful support to help me in this endeavor, but all the support in the world can't move someone unless they want to move. So I know that it was me who did all that! A good feeling, that. And it's exactly this "being myself" business that allows me to love him so much, because I've come to love myself, and in doing that, it's fired some embers I'd forgotten existed. It's a bright and roaring flame but it does not burn and char its fuel. It simply pushes the confines of my being until I feel I'll burst. But instead of bursting, I expand...
...into the new year!! So may it be a happy one, and a great one yet again!! God bless!!
~nv
So I did. I went out and got my license in February, went rock climbing with friends, carefully stopped caring so much about work, accidentally "met" Aflac, got my truck, Dante, met Aflac in person, started hiking, fell in love, met more friends... wait. What about my last resolution? Ah, but that was also held true - I don't /need/ Aflac, I /love/ Aflac. There's a difference!
So, I'd have to say that I did exactly what I'd planned to do last year. There were a few stumblings, of course, but I kept picking myself up and forging ahead with due force. I reached the height of my quest about a week ago when I was submersed in the Christmas Spirit.
Last night/this morning, Aflac and I were downtown both at 8 and at midnight, wandering around and watching fireworks and listening to shouting of "Happy New Year" and all that stuff. People moved on after the fireworks but we lingered and got some pictures of the town. Then we noticed the drunks also lingering and decided it might be best if we, too, dispersed! So we got back to our nice warm place and expressed more excitement over this new year before collapsing up the stairs and into bed. It was 1am something. Quite a ways past MY bedtime, but not nearly as late as it had been last year when I stumbled home and into the bed which I couldn't even notice the warmth of given my drunken stupour.
I was thinking about this as we got back in the car so early this morning. How lucky I am that it was a two-night drinking episode that had less to do with flushing out my woes and all to do with progress! If it had been the former, who knows... maybe it would have been the indicator of a new alcoholic. But instead I purged the alcohol from my system and did what I wanted to do in order to experience life. Not everyone is so determined or lucky to come so possibly close to ruining their lives and instead pick themselves up higher than ever.
And the best part is that I know Aflac is only one reason for my steadfastness. It's me who decided to push forward and get things done. He's offered some wonderful support to help me in this endeavor, but all the support in the world can't move someone unless they want to move. So I know that it was me who did all that! A good feeling, that. And it's exactly this "being myself" business that allows me to love him so much, because I've come to love myself, and in doing that, it's fired some embers I'd forgotten existed. It's a bright and roaring flame but it does not burn and char its fuel. It simply pushes the confines of my being until I feel I'll burst. But instead of bursting, I expand...
...into the new year!! So may it be a happy one, and a great one yet again!! God bless!!
~nv
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