Peter's baaaaaaack
Peter Cetera is back with a new Christmas Album. As if he'd ever truly left. Haha. He's a permanent fixture on my internal auditorium's walls. There's no shaking him loose even if I wanted to.
Anyway, life's been interesting lately, and so it's fitting that Peter should be releasing another album. I've got so much to say here tonight before bed!!
First, because it's most important to me right now, is news about the lizard that is currently boarding in my house. His name is Lancelot. I bought him at a RenFaire that I attended with like 14 other people or so. We all went down in three or four vehicles, stayed overnight at someone's house, attended the RenFaire, came back, and vóìlá, here I am with a lizard named Lancelot. The guy at the Faire just grabbed my hand and plopped a Green Anole (aka baby dragon to that guy) in my hand. Half and hour with him and I was in love. Tried to buy the little critter then and there and they told me no, because that particular feller was THEIRS. Disgusted with their tactics, I left. An hour later I was back. How surprising. After some time, I figured out which one I wanted to take home with me, and it turned out to be little Lancie.
Anyway, I could write a book on him and I've only had him a week. But time is precious to me right now, so I'm going to continue with the rest of the goings-ons.
Number two. I fell in and out of love and was rather badly burnt - but I think I'm healing nicely. Very close friend and I had been dancing around the subject for quite some time over the last couple months. Then just as I'm finally getting up my nerve to tell him how I'm feeling (since I'd finally figured out what I was feeling myself), I'm introduced to a friend of his. Without going into details, it turns out that he finds out she's digging him just as he finds out I'm into him as well, and after a couple weeks I finally managed to figure out that he's more into her than he is me. Thus I got through another week of adapting to the concept that wow, it's possible for someone I like to actually like someone else more than me. Get OVER myself, now... LOL I'm currently praying that the friendship is salvageable. Ultimately I think it now depends on him, because I'm over the whole thing for the most part. Yes, I still hurt, but there were so many fun times in our past. I'm not willing to simply give up on the possibility that he and I can continue our friendship just yet. Also, reminded of the song Billy Joel did, "A Matter Of Trust." See, this guy and I have a great deal of trust between us, at least, I /think/ we do considering the high number of subjects we've discussed and in the detail they've been discussed in. (Pretty decent in a more-than-friends relationship, true, but that's obviously moot point now.) The lyrics offer these thoughts: "I've lived long enough to have learned the closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned" and "It's hard when you're always afraid; you just recover when another belief is betrayed. So break my heart if you must, it's a matter of trust. You can't go the distance with too much resistance" and "This time you've got nothing to lose, you can take it you can leave it whatever you choose, I won't hold back anything and I'll walk away a fool or a king." All very good words for me to be hearing! I've been thinking these things anyway, but hearing them helps cement their concepts in my brain. I /have/ lived long enough to know that the more you love, the more risk you're taking. I know that every time I begin thinking something serious about someone, my thoughts betray me and turn out to be wrong. Not just in love issues, either, but pretty much anything so important. I'm glad I allowed my heart to be broken this time, though, because it made me realize how capable of love I can be. I did not know that about myself before, so it tells me that I'm growing. A lot. You can't go the distance if you're too afraid of being hurt. I didn't hold back anything and I walked away the fool, but I'd rather be the fool than neither "fool or a king." I basically laid things out on the table and allowed him to choose, he had nothing to lose, neither did I, really...
Anyway, we'll see what the future holds regarding our friendship. In the meantime, I'm not ruling out the possibility that perchance I might fall for someone again - deeper, and maybe they'll be as into me as I am them. That would be awesome. Not holding my breath, but not exhaling too much, either. Still, hope stirs from within. Doh. I feel a poem coming on. Best be heading on to...
Number three. Mom moved away a couple weeks ago, too. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm relieved in a way, because her and I are way too close and it's good to grow away from her and vice-versa. But I also miss her. A lot. She's trying to adapt herself, and I think I'm doing all right with it for my part, too.
Number four. My best friend is also moving away soon. Times like these I feel like everyone is deserting me. I know that's silly! Yet, I can't help but feel like everyone I care about is leaving me behind. It took me years to establish two close friendships and now one is moving and the other is in love with someone else, potentially threatening /our/ relationship, even if it's nothing beyond what we already had.
Number five. Oh yeah, and did I mention that Peter is releasing a Christmas album this year? lol!
Anyway, I'm off to bed soon. Think I might be doing a poem first, though... ~nvnohi
Anyway, life's been interesting lately, and so it's fitting that Peter should be releasing another album. I've got so much to say here tonight before bed!!
First, because it's most important to me right now, is news about the lizard that is currently boarding in my house. His name is Lancelot. I bought him at a RenFaire that I attended with like 14 other people or so. We all went down in three or four vehicles, stayed overnight at someone's house, attended the RenFaire, came back, and vóìlá, here I am with a lizard named Lancelot. The guy at the Faire just grabbed my hand and plopped a Green Anole (aka baby dragon to that guy) in my hand. Half and hour with him and I was in love. Tried to buy the little critter then and there and they told me no, because that particular feller was THEIRS. Disgusted with their tactics, I left. An hour later I was back. How surprising. After some time, I figured out which one I wanted to take home with me, and it turned out to be little Lancie.
Anyway, I could write a book on him and I've only had him a week. But time is precious to me right now, so I'm going to continue with the rest of the goings-ons.
Number two. I fell in and out of love and was rather badly burnt - but I think I'm healing nicely. Very close friend and I had been dancing around the subject for quite some time over the last couple months. Then just as I'm finally getting up my nerve to tell him how I'm feeling (since I'd finally figured out what I was feeling myself), I'm introduced to a friend of his. Without going into details, it turns out that he finds out she's digging him just as he finds out I'm into him as well, and after a couple weeks I finally managed to figure out that he's more into her than he is me. Thus I got through another week of adapting to the concept that wow, it's possible for someone I like to actually like someone else more than me. Get OVER myself, now... LOL I'm currently praying that the friendship is salvageable. Ultimately I think it now depends on him, because I'm over the whole thing for the most part. Yes, I still hurt, but there were so many fun times in our past. I'm not willing to simply give up on the possibility that he and I can continue our friendship just yet. Also, reminded of the song Billy Joel did, "A Matter Of Trust." See, this guy and I have a great deal of trust between us, at least, I /think/ we do considering the high number of subjects we've discussed and in the detail they've been discussed in. (Pretty decent in a more-than-friends relationship, true, but that's obviously moot point now.) The lyrics offer these thoughts: "I've lived long enough to have learned the closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned" and "It's hard when you're always afraid; you just recover when another belief is betrayed. So break my heart if you must, it's a matter of trust. You can't go the distance with too much resistance" and "This time you've got nothing to lose, you can take it you can leave it whatever you choose, I won't hold back anything and I'll walk away a fool or a king." All very good words for me to be hearing! I've been thinking these things anyway, but hearing them helps cement their concepts in my brain. I /have/ lived long enough to know that the more you love, the more risk you're taking. I know that every time I begin thinking something serious about someone, my thoughts betray me and turn out to be wrong. Not just in love issues, either, but pretty much anything so important. I'm glad I allowed my heart to be broken this time, though, because it made me realize how capable of love I can be. I did not know that about myself before, so it tells me that I'm growing. A lot. You can't go the distance if you're too afraid of being hurt. I didn't hold back anything and I walked away the fool, but I'd rather be the fool than neither "fool or a king." I basically laid things out on the table and allowed him to choose, he had nothing to lose, neither did I, really...
Anyway, we'll see what the future holds regarding our friendship. In the meantime, I'm not ruling out the possibility that perchance I might fall for someone again - deeper, and maybe they'll be as into me as I am them. That would be awesome. Not holding my breath, but not exhaling too much, either. Still, hope stirs from within. Doh. I feel a poem coming on. Best be heading on to...
Number three. Mom moved away a couple weeks ago, too. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm relieved in a way, because her and I are way too close and it's good to grow away from her and vice-versa. But I also miss her. A lot. She's trying to adapt herself, and I think I'm doing all right with it for my part, too.
Number four. My best friend is also moving away soon. Times like these I feel like everyone is deserting me. I know that's silly! Yet, I can't help but feel like everyone I care about is leaving me behind. It took me years to establish two close friendships and now one is moving and the other is in love with someone else, potentially threatening /our/ relationship, even if it's nothing beyond what we already had.
Number five. Oh yeah, and did I mention that Peter is releasing a Christmas album this year? lol!
Anyway, I'm off to bed soon. Think I might be doing a poem first, though... ~nvnohi
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home