It's nice outside, and I'm...
...in my playpen. What on EARTH is the matter with me? I've been asking myself this for hours now. The last couple of weeks have been exruciatingly tiresome for me, just because I've been on the go constantly, so little time to myself to simply sit back, relax, and do absolutely nothing but think, ponder, or even just stare into space.
I know from experience that when my mind is full of information that it has yet to organize, that I physically start organizing things. Disorder starts to irritate me. Not to the point where I hate seeing things out of place, mind you. It's not the mess itself. It's that I could be figuring out where to put it and thus make a new empty space. So far this week, in the little bouts of time off I've had, I've emptied three or four totes of stuff, threw some of that stuff away, and organized the rest into the many drawers I've bought for this purpose. My playpen is now completely filled with organizational tools - drawers, cabinets, shelving, tables, a closet of boxes and totes - even the wiring has been drawing my attention to it, begging to be rearranged and tied down to reduce the clutter UNDER the tables. It's insane. To look quickly at my playpen, you'd think "messy." But upon any semblance of inspection, it would amaze anyone just how much stuff occupies this tiny little space.
I am the master of organizing when it comes to my stuff.
Yet today, it's roughly 60 degrees outside, the sky is full of sunshine and deep blue hues, and there'll be a little outdoor concert just 10 minutes from here in about 45 minutes. I don't wanna go. I know I don't. I don't want to see all the people milling around, I don't feel like smiling and nodding my head at fellow spectators, I don't even want to get in my truck and drive down there to try finding a parking spot. And in fact, I actually don't even want to hear the music, because it'll be amplified and brazen and people will be talking over it and traffic will dilute it! Besides, I might hear something I like and start dancing, and I honestly do not have enough energy to spend on that kind of joy.
This has nothing to do with feeling poorly, or bad, or depressed, or even funky. I'm just feeling very quiet, reflective, organizational, peaceful, physically tired, and ... oh yeah, hungry. I should probably pick at this nice boiled dinner I just made for myself. It's got corned beef, potatoes, orange peppers, onions, and spinach in it. There's a nice cup of Earl Grey here, too. *takes a few nibbles*
My picture drive announced that it was full today... I had to delete some stuff, move things around, and eventually I will be forced to reorganize my hard drive, too. Well, actually, I've been working on that... but it's a slow process. When I installed 440GB of drives on this thing, I never once figured I'd actually use it all. 200GB was supposed to be used for backing up most of the rest of it, in fact. HA! Here I am less than two years later, scratching my head and going, "Wow, what the heck is on here, anyway?" Truth is, a lot. The three biggest culprits? You guessed it: CDROM images (so I don't have to insert my CD's), music, and of course the latest little bugger, pictures. Most of the latter are backed up to DVD, of course the cd images I have on the original cds, and music... don't even go there. I think I've backed up the few things I've bought from iTunes. I hope so. The rest I could care less about because I've got all /that/ on CDs. All of which are downstairs, neatly organized by artist name. Still, to have to re-rip all those... As I said, don't even go there.
Okay, I'm still not eating as much as I should be right now, so I'm going to end this before I fade away to a shadow.
~nv
I know from experience that when my mind is full of information that it has yet to organize, that I physically start organizing things. Disorder starts to irritate me. Not to the point where I hate seeing things out of place, mind you. It's not the mess itself. It's that I could be figuring out where to put it and thus make a new empty space. So far this week, in the little bouts of time off I've had, I've emptied three or four totes of stuff, threw some of that stuff away, and organized the rest into the many drawers I've bought for this purpose. My playpen is now completely filled with organizational tools - drawers, cabinets, shelving, tables, a closet of boxes and totes - even the wiring has been drawing my attention to it, begging to be rearranged and tied down to reduce the clutter UNDER the tables. It's insane. To look quickly at my playpen, you'd think "messy." But upon any semblance of inspection, it would amaze anyone just how much stuff occupies this tiny little space.
I am the master of organizing when it comes to my stuff.
Yet today, it's roughly 60 degrees outside, the sky is full of sunshine and deep blue hues, and there'll be a little outdoor concert just 10 minutes from here in about 45 minutes. I don't wanna go. I know I don't. I don't want to see all the people milling around, I don't feel like smiling and nodding my head at fellow spectators, I don't even want to get in my truck and drive down there to try finding a parking spot. And in fact, I actually don't even want to hear the music, because it'll be amplified and brazen and people will be talking over it and traffic will dilute it! Besides, I might hear something I like and start dancing, and I honestly do not have enough energy to spend on that kind of joy.
This has nothing to do with feeling poorly, or bad, or depressed, or even funky. I'm just feeling very quiet, reflective, organizational, peaceful, physically tired, and ... oh yeah, hungry. I should probably pick at this nice boiled dinner I just made for myself. It's got corned beef, potatoes, orange peppers, onions, and spinach in it. There's a nice cup of Earl Grey here, too. *takes a few nibbles*
My picture drive announced that it was full today... I had to delete some stuff, move things around, and eventually I will be forced to reorganize my hard drive, too. Well, actually, I've been working on that... but it's a slow process. When I installed 440GB of drives on this thing, I never once figured I'd actually use it all. 200GB was supposed to be used for backing up most of the rest of it, in fact. HA! Here I am less than two years later, scratching my head and going, "Wow, what the heck is on here, anyway?" Truth is, a lot. The three biggest culprits? You guessed it: CDROM images (so I don't have to insert my CD's), music, and of course the latest little bugger, pictures. Most of the latter are backed up to DVD, of course the cd images I have on the original cds, and music... don't even go there. I think I've backed up the few things I've bought from iTunes. I hope so. The rest I could care less about because I've got all /that/ on CDs. All of which are downstairs, neatly organized by artist name. Still, to have to re-rip all those... As I said, don't even go there.
Okay, I'm still not eating as much as I should be right now, so I'm going to end this before I fade away to a shadow.
~nv
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