12 Steps to Internet Recovery
An online friend sent me this. Figures, huh? Online. Yep...
~~~
12 Steps to Internet recovery
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to before the Internet.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7. I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
~~~
I have some comments to add to these, though...
1. I've always read the newspaper online... so how can I read it without the internet?! And, can I replace the coffee with tea or Chai or something? I hate coffee... (one of few geeks who hates coffee, actually)
2. Ever hear of french fries? No need to type one-handed... can grab fries with teeth.
3. I'm always dressed. No time to undress - pulling shirt over head deprives me of seeing monitor for .4 seconds. (Okay, I'm kidding, I actually do get dressed every day. But only because I have to work. LOL. Peu. Kidding!)
4. Too late.
5. I'm proud to say I wrote a letter to Mom just the other day. Of course, it may have been partially because I finally have a decent printer and just *had* to use it. The other reason of course is that she likes getting actual *mail* now and then as proof that her daughter really does correspond with her outside the computer. Besides, she'd never understand my handwriting anyway!
6. I do that often, actually... they stopped me from emailing everyone at work long ago.
7. I read pdf files quite regularly, thank you...
8. What? Sorry, I was still chuckling over the letter-writing one...
9. TV? Oh, no, I got rid of cable.
10. I'll have you know that there are TEN footprints in the snow out there right now!! (Granted, only four are mine from when my friend came over to get me to go get food so we could play online together and the rest are his, but... still... I went out today...)
11. I balance my checkbook onli-- no, I mean, I check my account online and then use a spreadsheet to - shit. I'm only digging myself deeper, aren't I?
12. It better be. I hate it when I'm IMing someone and the internet dies. Takes me a good five minutes to dial into my backup connection...
All right! All RIGHT!! I might be /slightly/ addicted to the Internet... What's the matter with that?
~~~
12 Steps to Internet recovery
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to before the Internet.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7. I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
~~~
I have some comments to add to these, though...
1. I've always read the newspaper online... so how can I read it without the internet?! And, can I replace the coffee with tea or Chai or something? I hate coffee... (one of few geeks who hates coffee, actually)
2. Ever hear of french fries? No need to type one-handed... can grab fries with teeth.
3. I'm always dressed. No time to undress - pulling shirt over head deprives me of seeing monitor for .4 seconds. (Okay, I'm kidding, I actually do get dressed every day. But only because I have to work. LOL. Peu. Kidding!)
4. Too late.
5. I'm proud to say I wrote a letter to Mom just the other day. Of course, it may have been partially because I finally have a decent printer and just *had* to use it. The other reason of course is that she likes getting actual *mail* now and then as proof that her daughter really does correspond with her outside the computer. Besides, she'd never understand my handwriting anyway!
6. I do that often, actually... they stopped me from emailing everyone at work long ago.
7. I read pdf files quite regularly, thank you...
8. What? Sorry, I was still chuckling over the letter-writing one...
9. TV? Oh, no, I got rid of cable.
10. I'll have you know that there are TEN footprints in the snow out there right now!! (Granted, only four are mine from when my friend came over to get me to go get food so we could play online together and the rest are his, but... still... I went out today...)
11. I balance my checkbook onli-- no, I mean, I check my account online and then use a spreadsheet to - shit. I'm only digging myself deeper, aren't I?
12. It better be. I hate it when I'm IMing someone and the internet dies. Takes me a good five minutes to dial into my backup connection...
All right! All RIGHT!! I might be /slightly/ addicted to the Internet... What's the matter with that?
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