You take the wind out of my sails!

Earlier today I was discussing bland yet important lifestuffs with a friend. This one mainly concerned someone whom I've known all my life: Mom.

I was telling her how Mom used to get so upset with me for not agreeing with her, as if I was disagreeing on purpose just to cause her to "not have any fun." In fact she even said that many times herself, so it's not like I'm assuming anything there. Well, it was the alternative way that Mom would say that which just got me into an interesting - and rather comical - conversation.

Mom's alternative way of saying "You don't give me any fun" was "You take the wind out of my sails." I quipped to my friend, "As if I have anything to do with how much wind she passes." Which of course caused a little bit of laughter on both sides. But that's when I began thinking of how Mom has this habit of belching and I've never been able to belch, so I fart instead. I know, disgusting bathroom talk, but how many people don't do either? Come on, be honest - it's a part of life. We all do these things. We can't help it. We're human and so we digest stuff. (As is evidenced by this blog, lol.)

I then proposed a hypothesis which I quickly disproved and then reproved and then disproved only to reprove again and in actuality, it's really just a weird sort of fallacy that took root in a really eccentric and eclectic geekchick's mind, but it's funny nonetheless. Here goes:

"One might say that since she belches and I'm more of a farter, she should be going forward and I should be going backward. No, wait. Hm. Interesting. I actually proved a theory to myself without having to turn it around. I was gonna say that her rear was facing forward and I was watching the wake behind me so thus we're the opposite of what we should be, but then it dawned on me... Blowing wind out one's mouth into one's sails WOULD drive you backward. And farting into one's sails would drive you forward. So my hypothesis now is that farting is better than belching. No, wait. Actually, both would drive you forward."

[Note that I began really thinking about it at this point, which is perhaps the scariest part of the whole thing. The second scariest thing is that my friend was participating: "Nah, belching would be backwards. If you belch hard enough your head goes backwards.. you jump backwards." See? I'm not the only nutcase around here!! *ducks* Anywho, I continued...]

"Unless you turned your head. As you were belching. Because, if the sail is in front of you and you belch, then you're still going forward. Yeah, see? I was right the first time. Farting would drive the sail backwards. Yeah, so what happened was Mom somehow got herself turned around and now she's still going forward per se but in the wrong direction. Me, on the other hand, I WAS going in that direction, but I somehow turned around as well and now even though I appear to be going backwards when I fart, I'm actually going in the right direction. Whoa, profound."

My friend then noted, "Lot of thinking regarding natural body functions."

My response?

"Uh, yeah. I think that's Mom's fault."

Actually, I think it's the Spaghettios I had for breakfast. I'm feeling gassy all of a sudden...

Chances

.42005061641.

Yesterday within the rays of the sun
I had a vision that hasn't yet come
Then the clouds came and showed me some more
As the tears fell I wondered what for

I've seen you with her in your arms
Little pink ribbon tied 'round her sweet head
You looked up at me, your smile ablaze
At first I was stunned, but now I'm amazed

I don't know
What the future brings
But if I've really seen her
And her time will come
I'll welcome her with open arms
I've seen a different side of me
And now I've seen a different you
At times I feel
As if I'm crawling
Then I waken with a start
And see how fast I'm moving
Time waits for no one
I grasp at every moment
As if it might just be my last
What if it is? Would I deny
Myself the chance for happiness?

cheeeeeeeeese caaaaaaaaaaake

I'm hungry, so I'm looking for breakfast, right? Rummage through my cupboards, find quite a few things... grits... cream of wheat... a really old bagel... cereal... yikes, that's gotta be stale by now! Wait... what's this in the fridge... cheeeeeeeeeeeese caaaaaaaaaaaake...

What?! Nothing wrong with cheeeeeeese caaaaaaake for breakfast!! It contains all four food groups!!! Bread group (crust!), milk group (cheese!!), meat group (eggs!!!), and even... fruits and veggies group (fruit all over top!!!!) Highly nutritious!!!

So guess what I'm eating... two-or-so-day-old KFC. Yeah, when I was about to grab the cheesecake I realized I'd have that for dessert and finish off the KFC so I wouldn't feel bad about wasting money and good food. Besides, cold KFC is actually pretty good when you're hungry. But that cheesecake had better watch out, 'cause I've not forgotten it and I don't have THAT much KFC left!! MWAHHHHHH hahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!

Poor innocent cheesecake... *drools*

~nv

Lightning... crikeys, mate!!

Wow... last night I experienced the scariest driving situation I've ever experienced in my few months of driving. This went beyond the two idiots who almost hit me while I was still learning to drive. LIGHTNING!! I'm not just talking lightning. I'm talking the kind of lightning that lights up the whole sky, crackling with deafening roars, and beating up the rain clouds so they release their contents in torrential, monsoon-like downpours.

It started out okay, just a little storm that would pass over, right? So I started driving down this little street when I noticed that not only was the lightning getting stronger, louder, faster and brighter, but the rain clouds weren't being as stingy with their rain as they had been a few minutes earlier. It was actually pouring!! Then I felt water tugging at Dante's tires and slowed down as I plowed through what seemed like a good half-inch of water on the road. For a long moment I debated whether I should turn back or not, but where I wanted to go wasn't far and I figured I'd be okay. So I tested the brakes (they worked) and continued on toward the main drag.

Which was well-lighted by store lights and street lamps. The rain was dumping down pretty good, but I knew I had to learn to drive in that kind of rain sometime and the last time I was in
rain anywhere near like that was on an interstate going at 60mph and hydroplaning. So I pushed forward. The speed limit was 40, I checked my speedometer to make sure I wasn't speeding. No chance of that! I was going 30 - and nervously. Again my thoughts turned to returning, but of course I was even closer now and there was no safe place TO turn around now. The rain started pounding against Dante's windshield as if it was seeking shelter from its own drenching nature. I increased the speed of the wipers as I approached the highway but it didn't help all that much. I looked forward to the well-kept smoothness of the highway where I figured I might be able to speed up just a little bit.

Instead of going 55-60, however, I checked the speedometer and realized I was still going 30 - and visibility was getting worse! Lightning crackled all around, shaking the ground that
Dante rolled upon, lighting up the sky and the rest of my surroundings in blinding flashes that made me blink in pain as my eyes adjusted to the contrasting degrees of light.

The wipers did nothing to help me see. I played with them a bit, turned them on, off, slower, faster. The water continued to run down the windshield as if I were in the rinse cycle of a
car wash. Then I felt the splashing. And Dante's wheels were no longer touching the ground. I slowed to 25mph as the wind tossed me softly from side to side with its indecision. Finally
his wheels grasped the pavement beneath the water and I was able to keep control. The rain swept into another direction temporarily and I was able to see what was causing the sensation
of splashing. The highway itself was all water! It was so deep that it was splashing up Dante's side and part of his front end and contributing to the river running down my windshield. It
was like plunging frontend-first into a river.

For a split second I considered calling my boyfriend to let him know I was still okay. That thought was instantly pushed out as Dante's whole body was rattled with the vibration of another strike. The bolt was in front of me and to my left off in the distance; I saw it right through the flood on the windshield as if it were clear as day. The sky glowed purple for a moment after the bolt dissipated into the ground.

Within a few moments I was finally, after what seemed like ages, at the turn in the highway that would lead me to my destination. As I slowed even more to safely make my turn, some idiot behind me sped up and passed in this tiny little rinky-dink car! I thought to myself, this guy's nuts, that little tiny thing is bound to get swept away in the water if he's not more careful
than that!!

I pulled into my boyfriend's driveway, beseeched the lightning to avoid me as I got out of the vehicle, and bolted for the door. Despite having darted through mostly water that had
collected all over the dirt driveway, my feet never got wet. I was dancing on its surface, that's how fast I was running!

God bless his soul, my boyfriend opened the door as I approached and ushered me in just as another peal of lightning lit up the landscape in its purplish glory. His eyes were like saucers,
wide and almost wild with worry. He listened to my agitated summary of my ordeal as I untied my shoes and absently marvelled at how dry my feet still were. Then he hugged me close. I kept pulling away to tell him more but kept finding myself comforted in his arms again and again. I guess if I had been frightened with my experience, not knowing how I was out there in that mess - which caused me to take three times as long getting to his place - well, it must have been exruciating for him. He later said he'd considered calling my cell but didn't dare lest he cause one more distraction in what must have been an already distracting situation. I thanked him for that one and admitted I thought about calling him but didn't dare. More thankful
hugging ensued.

I'm telling you, lightning is nothing to disrespect. It's powerful, awesome, and destructive. They say one of the safest places to be is inside a vehicle during a lightning storm, but I think they mean a /motionless/ vehicle, not one that's attempting to drive through bouts of pooled water and torrential rain and blinding peals of lightning!! Give me the safety of motionless shelter any day!!

THAT is MY rant for the day.

~nv

Yo quiero Taco Bell

Okay, this desire for Taco Bell is NOT going away. I'm sitting here eating cheese danish and drinking chocolate milk. All well and good. But then I go to re-read my last two blog entries because someone told me they were "good stuff" and I couldn't even remember exactly what I wrote. And, in the midst of one of my ramblings, lo and behold there is a mention of TACO BELL. ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! See, the problem is that last night a certain someone (you know who you are) mentioned Taco Bell. So my tastebuds began prepping themselves for it since they associate his saying those words with actually getting the yummy steak chalupas that they are now so eagerly looking forward to yet again. Twice in less than 24 hours I get to think about Taco Bell. Drat!

So, what shall I do with this problem? I suppose I could go to KFC for lunch. At least it's affiliated with Taco Bell somehow. But I don't want chicken. YO QUIERO STEAK CHALUPAS!! Perchance meshall haveto goto store and find taco fixings. Might get me close enough to stifle the craving until my next hour-long venture towards the nearest Taco Bell restaurant.

When are they going to bring one closer to me?!

Okay, that ends my rant for the day. I feel better now. But I still want a steak chalupa. Or two. Or three.

AND SUPERBALLS!!

~nv

Digital TV

Okay. I understand the FCC requiring devices to not interfere with other devices. Which, incidentally, still happens - otherwise cell phones wouldn't interfere with hospital equipment and microwaves wouldn't trigger pacemakers. BUT... requiring manufacturers to make certain /kinds/ of equipment just so THEY can meet their own deadline is completely out of line.

http://msnbc.msn.com/ID/8157867

I am one of the few people I know who hardly ever watches TV. It's not because I can't have cable or satellite - in fact, I had cable tv last year and finally cancelled it because the tv set had been turned on maybe twice in six months (both for sci-fi shows, I'm sure). Why pay for something when I don't even use it? Where I grew up, we had 20 channels over the air. I watched far more of it then than I do now, even with my paid-for "clear picture." It's something called "having a life." Granted, I've spent countless hours at a computer by choice. But unlike half of America these days, I still know how to read books, do puzzles, and enjoy the company of others (even my critters). What is wrong with America when we spend gazillions of dollars on a television that brings in digital signals so we can see someone eating worms with crystal clarity?

Personally, I'd much rather rent movies and shows on DVD - no, actually, VHS since they actually don't skip as much as DVD's do - and forego the commercials that we pay for (twice!) that show up so stunningly beautiful because we've paid half our salary for a honkin' tv that shows every little hair follicle on someone's nose.

Ooh! Look! I bet she had a nose-hair job...

Count me in the 15% of homes who do not get digitized. I prefer to stay active and avoid becoming the couch potato the FCC obviously wants me to become. What next? Subliminal messages? Why are they so gung-ho on requiring 85% of American homes to have digital tv's? What is so important that we need to see news and other broadcasts with no snow or distortion?

Are we finally going all the way with pay-tv? Pay for the set, pay for the programming, pay for the commercials, and pay for all products advertised? Where are our grandmothers and grandfathers? Does anyone remember when "they" tried to get us to buy televisions and then pump in change to watch each program? So we had the uproar, and they backed off, and used commercials to pay for the shows? And then cable came along. I remember in the 80's how cable tv was a luxury that you paid for in order to get uninterrupted, "crystal clear" signal with no snow. Then between then and the time I finally paid attention to cable tv again, I noticed all the commercials. You pay for commercials every ten minutes? What's with that?

Count me out.

Maybe the FCC should become a bit more strict with how badly Cell phones and microwaves affect medical equipment and leave America to figure out its own priorities.

End of rant.

~nv

Supercalifragilisticsuperballidociousness!!

SOMEone has recently informed me that I have not been BLOGGING much lately. WELL!! All I have to say to that is... IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! Okay, okay, I suppose I could find five minutes at least once a month to blog, but that would be five minutes out of each month that would take me away from catching up on other stuff, like reading and writing email, working with my new electronics kit... oh! I have an electronics kit! Yep, it's awesome. I've only done a handful of projects so far but OMG I found another haven. Right there at my desk with wires and resistors and the little breadboard surrounded by all those controls and springs and things!!
In other news, life is still just as good as it was the last time I blogged. Dante is doing very very well (except for the four little punctures in his rear end - stupid cement block below my line of vision! - and oh yeah, that reminds me, I still haven't called the dealership to find out if they have the cover paint yet or not... anywho, otherwise he's fine. I've slowed down on my hand-washings because I started to think maybe people are right about scratching the paint that way, seeing's how these tiny little scratches have been appearing in the paint. Ugh! My poor baby... Momma meant well, honest...

Have been hiking lately also, been all over the place. Fun, fun! Except for the mosquitoes. I got bit... *off to count bites again* okay, at least 12 times the other day. One bite in particular was quite itchy and swelled up to at least twice the usual skeeter bite size, it was hard and hot, too. Made the whole inside of my arm itch. I HATE that. It's bad enough when you scratch the outside piece of your arm off because then it can get a bit sore or whatever but you really can't keep going when you're a geek because it might damage the muscles and tendons to the point where you can't type and THAT would be REALLY bad. Wouldn't it?

Oh yeah, and that friend from one of my last posts showed me this book (I forget the name now but it's a good book). We both kind of talk like the main character (it's first-person narrative). I suppose I shouldn't refer to this person as a mere friend but I think it's fun to do so... (okay, okay, so we've been dating for roughly three months, SUE ME if you don't like the fact I'm actually really really happy about it!!) I've been updating my website a little bit (you know, www.psychomuse.com) and both it and my business site (www.techietutorials.com) are on a new host at networksolutions.com. They're pretty good so far except they kept losing my domain pointer but they've finally fixed that and otherwise I like them very much. Should for the money I paid them though I admit what they offered for the money is pretty decent. My thoughts are so scattered today, too... anyone notice? LOL

Supercalifragilisticsuperballidociousness!! Yo quiero Taco Bell...

~nvnohi