Advice

Regarding my recent engagement, I said to someone yesterday, "Oh,
thank you, do you have any advice for us newcomers to this odd new
world?" I was half-joking about the advice, but he sure did offer
some and I listened willingly. He's been married twice and said the
first time it only lasted two years and he was devastated. His dad
had seen a LOT of marriages fail and comforted him by saying that he
was looking at marriage the wrong way.

The advice he gave was to make yourself happy within the boundaries
of the marriage agreement and love your partner no matter how much
they piss you off. Many people falsely assume that each person is
supposed to make the other happy, and this is not a workable
concept. It's up to each person to keep themselves happy.

I thought that was pretty funny and quite realistic, because I know
from experience that no one can make you feel much of anything - it's
your own attitude that dictates whether another's actions is going to
be seen as a good or bad thing. I have also learned that if you're
happy, the happy feelings generally spill over and flow onto all the
people you touch.

So if one makes themselves happy, it stands to reason that this
happiness will rub off on their partner. If both people are
generally happy people, then it stands to reason that it is easier to
maintain respect for each other. And with respect present in a
marriage (or any relationship for that matter), then I feel confident
that long-term relationships are indeed a strong possibility.

Thus I am reassured in my decision to marry a wonderful gentleman
whom I love almost as much as myself.

~nv