garLICKKK!!

So I find this recipe [http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/roasted_garlic/] last night for garlic and think, whoooo, I wants it!!  So I makes it!!  One of the comments (first one actually) said it relieves flatulence, which I didn't know.  Whatever.  I eated a whole head of garlic last night, roasted that is, all the sulphur compounds supposedly killed by being cooked.  I figured, cool, I can eat this whole thing and it won't give me bad breath, like raw stuff does.  It was extremely tasty.  Yummy even.  Better than raw garlic, which I also love, but seldom eat because it sends Dale packing for Arkansas.  However.  Apparently even cooked garlic can do that.  Here's an outline of the aftermath.

Dale first endured the smell of the stuff in the house.
Then he moved out of the bedroom because I was snoring more than usual.

Then I kept waking up.

At one point I thought, man, is it just me, or does it stink in here?

Then I woke up to one heck of a long fart.  It was me.

Next thing I knew, I'd gassed myself out of the room.

I went to the bathroom for a good pee and all I could smell was garLIC.

Before I was done I let out a very very very long ripper.  GARLIC!!

I gassed myself out of the bathroom.

I even rinsed my mouth, thinking maybe it was just my breath.  (That seemed to have woken up whatever garlic was oozing back into my mouth.)

I had to sleep downstairs by the open window at 4:30 in the morning to catch the last vestiges of darkness for sleep.

I thought about placing the bedroom under quarantine.  I didn't even take my blanket.  I stole a new one from the shelf.

I woke this morning and thought, man, is that MY breath?

Dale comes downstairs after I shower.  I ask, "Uh, do I smell like garlic?"  He shifts away slightly and says, "Yep."

He just walked past me and said, "No one's gonna wanna work with you today.  At least you don't have to worry about anyone bothering you."

Sigh.  I stink.  AND THOSE PEOPLE THAT SAID GARLIC LOSES ITS STENCH WHEN COOKED /LIED/!!  It doesn't stop flatulence, either.  And I betcha if I'd gone outside last night or this morning, I'd still get attacked my mosquitoes.

I think the whole town may have to be quarantined soon.

Dale just came out of the shower and make choking sounds.  We're doomed.