20110331

Process for paying our mortgage

Step 1. Double-check that your login still works about two weeks before mortgage is due. Make sure it's written down correctly.
Step 2. Wait until due date is imminent.
Step 3. Go to website.
Step 4. Try to log in with known good information.
Step 5. Fail. Scratch head. Feel blood begin to simmer.
Step 6. Make another attempt.
Step 7. Fail. Restrain fists from hitting walls. Feel blood boiling.
Step 8. Attempt to recover password using link.
Step 9. Wait for email.
Step 10. Continue waiting.
Step 11. Realize the email with password is NEVER COMING.
Step 12. Attempt to log in again, trying a new combination.
Step 13. Scream when it locks you out. Holler obscenities.
Step 14. Email self at work to remind you to call the next day to have account unlocked.
Step 15. Go to work next day.
Step 16. Overlook the email because a gazillion interruptions occur (it IS work after all).
Step 17. Get home late and realize you forgot to call the bank. Mutter under breath.
Step 18. Email self at work again.
Step 19. Go to work next day.
Step 20. See email. Call people and explain again. Get it reset. Test thoroughly. Reset yourself. Test thoroughly.
Step 21. Finish work and go home.
Step 22. Log into site again with information. Record new password carefully. Test again.
Step 23. Pay mortgage.
Step 24. Log out.
Step 25. Rinse, wash, and repeat.

This is what it's like for most things I do online:
Step 1. Log into site.
Step 2. Pay bill.
Step 3. Log out.
Step 4. Repeat for next interval.

:: wishful thinking for this institution ::

20110330

I HATE STUPID SECURITY SYSTEMS

When you set your password to something

and you log in successfully

and you try to log in with the same information

NOT EVEN ONE MONTH LATER

/ IT SHOULD FUCKING WORK /

PERIOD.

And if it DOESN'T work every fucking month of every fucking year for years to come

THE GODDAMNED BANK SHOULD BE OPEN 24x7 TO RESET THE DAMNED THING!!!!!

I'm sick and tired of having to call while I'm at work and give someone MY information just so I can go in and pay our fucking MORTGAGE.

Seriously, I'm going to have all of my monies deposited into a different bank and then start paying by check again. This is absofuckinglutely ridiculous.

OUT

20110325

Odd likes Odd

So last night we're doing game night. Some of the events stand out to me and make me chuckle now that I'm more awake.

For starters, Dale is the only guy there. The women all range in age, from my almost-34 to Amy's 20 and Becky's unknown-number-older-than me.

Before Becky arrived, Dale brought me Cocoa Puffs and milk. As I ate, I heard him telling Amy that his white hot chocolate was too hot because he put it in an insulate cup. He was like, "As soon as she's done with her cereal, I'll just pour it in there and it'll cool down." Wanting him to be able to drink his drink, I hurried along and drank down the milk. I handed him the bowl. As soon as he had his drink dumped in there, I grabbed his cup and dumped fresh cereal and milk in it.

Amy goes and pokes me. I go to poke back and she uses her shoulder-back manoeuvre to avoid me, since she knows I will avoid her chest area at all costs. I scowl and return to my cereal.

Becky shows up and we start playing Skip Bo. I'd started feeling a little out of it probably a good two hours earlier, so it takes me a while to catch onto the game, as easy as it is. I feel like I'm about to collapse into my cereal bowl, but that's OK. Becky finally makes me a cup of tea and hands me a tissue box full of cookies she made.

Those are the events I particularly remember. Summary: I'm eating cereal out of an insulated mug and half-sleeping on the table with warnings of a dreamstate hanging back in the imaginary curtains. Dale is drinking white hot chocolate out of a cereal bowl. Becky hands me cookies in a tissue box. Amy is jerking her shoulders back and creating new poking methods with her boots.

If you didn't know us too well, you might have a rather odd look on your face, watching all this. But amidst my odd sleep state at the time, I gathered all this stuff together and had a good chuckle over it, laughing about how I don't feel so darned strange anymore. There are three others just like me!

~nv

20110324

Poem: Tuna Salad

TUNA SALAD
2011032441 - c2011 wlc

Explosions bursting in my head
Glows of the halos present to mine eyes
Such a light show, as I plant my ginger
Citrusy scent in a leafy disguise

I am here alone, but I am not alone
The hand that has held me is still ever ready
To catch me when I fall
Keep me upright and steady

I sit here with a friend
Munching crunchy salad greens
Tuna stuck within my teeth
Your image lives within my dreams

And when I wake my dreams are real
The croutons bringing luxury
Soon you'll walk into this room
Still more than just a memory

20110319

stash

This has been a good weekend for the most part. It's bright and sunny, snows are melting some, I'm at home relaxing, I have a number of new books to read (as if I didn't have lots already), and I've got all sorts of food to go make if I feel like it. I also have lots of tissue paper and such to make paper flowers with. (My current obsession, which is fueled by a party I'm going to in two weeks.)

But the one thing that is missing today is my little food monger. I was picking up dishes and found a piece of cinnamon toast. I was about to nibble it myself and then thought better of it - someone else would like this more than I would. I could picture the twitching nose and glistening eyes, watching me from behind the other side of the glass, waiting for me to come to my senses and share. So I relented, only to realize as I picked up the toast that she's not there anymore. Yet, still, I could very clearly imagine her grabbing the toast from my hand with her little hands, immediately biting into it, whiskers shaking, mouth chewing, eyes blinking every few seconds, the toast being turned in her hands as she went.

So I ate it for her. She would have loved it. Crunchy now, having sat out for a while; sweet cinnamon bursting with a hint of buttery salt which permeated the texture with flavour. Her cage is still sitting on the other side of the room, untouched. I cannot bring myself to clean it out, even though it's an eyesore without the life within it. It's funny, actually, to realize how messy having critters can be. I never notice it until they leave the cage behind.

Dale's off sugaring today. I think I'm going to go fry up some corned beef hash with our leftover St. Patrick's Day dinner. Sounds really yummy to me right now. Then I'm going to curl up with a book and sip tea until he gets home. Come to think of it, he might get home before I get to that point. If so, I might do paper flowers instead. The tea stays.

~nv

20110316

POEM: Lisa's Bridge

LISA'S BRIDGE
2011031421 - c2011wlc

The flame still burning here in me
Never quite extinguishes
No matter how often I might flee
I'll always find the blemishes

In time the tumors will be gone
I'll only see her having fun
Taps for food upon her plate
Or the glowing rainbow gate

For now, the story goes again:
I've lost another part of me
Sparkling tears where eyes had been
And still I know her soul is free

Now I cry in my love's embrace
And know he sees her in my face
He knows me well, knows what to do
Reassures as if it's new

Things are changing every day
Even when they seem the same
Adopting, living, losing, grief
How often do I write this game?

So I look at an empty cage
Past the point of aimless rage
And listen to the drop of falls
A roaring thunder in these walls

To Lisa: I will always miss you, you hoarding little rat. I hope you meet up with your sisters, and perchance, Gracie and Mercy. You and Gracie might have liked each other a good bit. You certainly shared a lot of food interests. I hope you know that I tried to time this for you, and meant only the best for you. Doesn't mean I didn't want you around longer, though. Quite to the contrary…

20110313

Mechanophilia

http://www.pet-loss-matters.com/stages-of-grief.html

Do mechanophila-type people (i.e., those who think they love machinery) also grieve when one of their machies dies?

If not, why?  Or, why is it 'unnatural' other than machines are man-made?




20110306

my old baby!

Now if only I could find Windows 7 64-bit compatible software to go with it.


From wikipedia:


Visor Edge

Visor Edge
Released in March 2001, the slim Visor Edge featured an MC68VZ328 DragonBall CPU clocked at 33 MHz. The 160×160-pixel, 4-bit grayscale (16 shades of gray) display was standard for most Palm PDAs. However, at the time it was the thinnest and lightest Visor, sizing in at 4.7" x 3.1" x 0.44" and weighing 4.8 ounces with the display measuring the same 2.25 inches square with diagonal span of 3.0 inches as other Visors. It was packed with 8 MB RAM and Handspring's latest version of the Palm OS, version 3.5.2H. Available in three colors, Metallic Blue, Metallic Silver, and Metallic Red, it was also eye catching. The built-in rechargeable Lithium-ion battery generally lasted two to four weeks on a charge. However, due to its size, the standard Springboard Expansion Slot was accessed through a slide-on sleeve rather than a built-in slot. Nevertheless, this still allowed the Visor Edge to access the Springboard Modules available.

Thankfulness

Sometimes you wake up particularly thankful.  I'm in one of those moods myself.

I'm very thankful for all that I have in my life...

...Dale of course... last night he was at work for over twelve hours fixing a server problem.  He stuck with it half the week trying to figure it out, and knew when to start over and who to ask for help.  And he even put up with me being a dingleberry while he was in the midst of it all.  Then he still had the energy to say he loves me and thanked me for trying to help.  Might sound funny but I'm thankful for seeing his eyebrows in the morning, because they're kinda cute, and remind me of his expressions when he's playing table tennis.  I'm thankful for his health so he can do all the activities he enjoys and those brows remind me of how active and happy he is.

...Family and friends... My mother taught me a lot in life and gave me an awesome vocabulary.  Despite our struggles, she somehow managed to keep me in her life, and has been there for me during the particularly bad times.  She is a woman with a strong sense of work ethic which at times has frustrated me but also became a strong admiration point, if for nothing else than her strength of conviction, which I feel I sometimes lack; I can look up to her for this when I need it.  I also have the most awesome mother-in-law who practices regularly the concept of "RAK" (random acts of kindness).  She has fully supported me in my relationship with her son, sees the good in people, has bestowed this wonderful attribute on Dale and is simply an absolute sweetheart.  My other mother-in-law is similarly awesome, holding family get-togethers to keep everyone in contact, providing delicious food for everyone, and organizing things to make them all run smoothly.  My father-in-law is a quiet but entertaining dude who taught his kids all about their later trades in life, spawning the interest that I can relate to myself and admire them for getting into.  He gave them a foundation to avoid fear of electricity by knowing how to handle it, giving them a grasp on things before they got to school.  My sister-in-law, too, for her strength and courage.  My brother-in-law, for his honesty and responsibility.  There are others but this would take a while...  Finally, I have many friends who haven't given up on me despite my oddities.  If that alone wasn't enough, many of them actually /appreciate/ my oddities and don't take offense at them!

...Pets... Kitty and I get along for the most part now, and I'm thankful for that because it's becoming easier to see what others see in her when she's not clawing my leg and glaring at me!  She's quite pretty and sweet, in fact.  Sinclair... where do I begin.  The fuzzy of my heart.  I am thankful for every morsel of food he begs for and then turns his back on, because it is evidence of his health as a cat.  Lisa, I'm glad for the extra year of life she's had so far and I'm thankful that she does not appear to be in pain from her maladies.  Pippin, for her cute little 'tude and velvety fuzziness.

...Our veterinarian.  He's not God, but sometimes I think God might have trained him.  He's done a lot for Lisa, bringing her through another year.  I wish he could do more but his expertise and love of animals is so evident that I know everything has been done for her medically.  He has saved Pippin a few times, too, from simple things like rhinitis which I had no clue about other than knowing something was wrong.  The cats may not like him, but his shots are quick and easy despite their protests.  He is a perfectionist, driven, working long hours, dedicated, and all the while, personable and cheerful.

...My dentist.  It took me twenty years to find him and about as many dentists.  He is not allowed to retire or move away, ever.  I have told him this.  'Nuff said.

...My doctor.  Pure luck finding him, I was just trying to find a provider to stick to my insurance plan.  He's not a pill-pusher, he's gentle, kind, listens, and seems to have some intuitive understanding of what's wrong, or incredible power of suggestion.  I still cannot forget the time I "knew" I had bronchitis based on past experience, and he listened, then told me to wait another week before getting the prescription filled because he had a feeling it would fix itself.  It did - four days later, much to my surprise.  I'm also thankful I don't see him more than once a year most of the time.

...My health... this goes without saying.  Without health, you don't have much and it's much harder to appreciate everything else!  Yeah, my foot still bothers me, but it was xrayed last year and nothing looked funky so I'm confident it's only the fasciia and it makes me feel better knowing I just have to be careful with it and avoid irritating it somewhat.  It's not as painful as it was a year ago.  I know how to try to avoid kidney stones, and I know what the beginnings of one feels like so I know when to "flush" it out before it gets me.  I know how to ease my colds and flus and I still only get sick maybe three times a year and feel great whenever one bout is over.  It's like a hard reboot of the body!  So, I'm even thankful for the seasonal illnesses that go around and am thankful they don't take more lives than they do.  I'm thankful that I'm strong and resilient and bounce back fairly quickly from colds and flus and know how to take care of myself and look at it in a productive and accepting way.

...Job.  I'll admit that I'm happy where I work.  I have awesome colleagues and an awesome boss who believes in me and always has.  A couple of my colleagues have turned into friends and I'm very thankful for that, too.  The environment is more productive and positive than it is negative... even during the less happy times, our team is a team and supportive of each other in some way.  I am thankful for it being this way right now, and am enjoying it so long as it will last - and I am thankful for past experiences which tell me things could be horrible, and they could get horrible any time, so I can better enjoy the current times while they're good and have something to relive and remember if they go downhill later on.

...Truck.  Six years old already, where did the time go?  Maintenance is getting more expensive, and I can hear the groans of this cold winter settling in on the chassis and other metal parts.  Yet every morning, it starts and roars to life.  It amazes me that vehicles can be this reliable in the first place, let alone six years down the road.  I have no doubt that I'll be saying this ten years from now about the same truck.

...The driving instructor who helped me earn my license.  His efforts changed my life for the better.  He gave me a gift I never imagined the implications of.

...House.  What a treat to look off the front porch and see the very spot we got married on!  What an awesome layout, with an awesome history, with just the right amount of land for gardening... no neighbours out back, just a beautiful sunrise over the treetops.  Enough space, plenty of spots to sequester oneself if the need arises.  Spots for company to stay, too.  We are so lucky to have this place.

...Computers.  Of course I love computers, but I'm really thankful right now for Talon, my newest addition.  Being a laptop with a hard drive big enough to hold all my crap, it hit me last night that my whole life is now in one thin device.  I can literally throw my life's work and memories in a bag and get in my truck and go.  It is almost disturbing.  But awesome.

...Food.  Mmm.  Food.

...Water to swim in and people that make that happen in the winter.  I learned to swim last summer, not just the motions of it, or the concepts, but the feeling of it.  At least, the relaxing part.  The other day I went swimming in 87-degree water and inadvertently swam out to the 12' section, thinking I was going along the length of the 4' section.  I got there, went to flip over, and realized suddenly that the floor of the pool was missing.  Despite the panic I held myself together and was quick enough to realize that it was OK, because I knew how to swim now.  Didn't stop me from being cautious and staying near the side, but I had lots of fun after that because it was something new, swimming out and having nothing scrape your foot... being able to fully extend in the water.  They're right - it's much easier to tread in deeper water!  It was also very nice to be swimming in comfort when it was below fifty outside.  Quite refreshing.

... too much else to list.  I want to go do other things and I'm thankful that writing more is not a requirement but something I naturally felt like doing and no longer wish to continue, and I have the freedom to start and stop at will.  I'm thankful if this list inspires anyone else to feel thankful for their blessings, because it will mean I've helped someone else be happier with what they have and look at things differently, maybe.

Over and out.

~w

20110305

Incomprehensible Shouting

20110304

Whoo! SQL ROCKS!!!!!

I'm at work but just had to blog about this one...

I just copied a table in SQL!!  I kept getting told it couldn't be done with this product, everything had to be done manually... but then I thought, that's BS... surely it could be done on the back end?  MWAH hahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!

Of course, I now need to test it thoroughly and check with them again and see why they didn't think of this themselves... I'm guessing they simply didn't think to tell me I can do it in SQL but maybe there's another reason.  I'll sniff it out eventually.

HA!

I'm beginning to like this sql business, now that it's less frightening... it's scary though that I am beginning to remember the table structure for this product.  Is it just me, or am I backwards engineering a lot of this?  Is it the product or me that's causing this?  lol

~nv