20110213

Soldering, sculptures, and peoples, oh my

Yesterday was awesome. First, Dale and I made plans to do some soldering together. Then a friend's wife called me to give me directions to this thing I had wanted to do and kept forgetting to sign up for.

So, Dale has this project he has been working on, similar to one he did before but this time a gazillion times better... More professional, nice design, etc. This time he designed his own circuitboard and would do his own soldering (with my help!) and it would all work! So we went to do the soldering and we had these tiny little resistors to stick onto the board. It really required three hands, because they were so small that they could move really easily off their assigned spots while you tried to apply the solder. So Dale held them with tweezers and I fought with the iron and solder. We did a lot of these! At least, it seemed like there were a lot. Then we did capacitors, which werealso tiny. It looked like I melted one and I got frustrated and nervous, but Dale was as usual unphased and merely encouraged me. So we finished four of those. Then I had to leave for something else, so he stayedbehind and I left.

This is where I can say that I never know what to expect.

After the soldering, I went to a ... Well, I cannot say yet because Dale might read this and he will find out soon enough about what it was about. Suffice it to say that in the process of doing that, I got to see a friend's wife, whom I have met a few times and found most entertaining. The dynamic of the pair was fun to watch the couple times I had seen them together, and I had thought to myself, it would be cool to get to know her better, become friends with the whole lot of them. (I had also found amusement in their children, the eyes of which shone with very similar personalities to their parents.)

What started out as idle curiosity, though, has begun to become more desirable to me lately because I worry that changes where I normally get to see my friend might lead to NOT seeing him, possibly ever again. So to see him/them outside of that realm, for me, is a good thing... To have that contact means more likelihood that should things occur to prevent the regular contact I currently have, I might have some other contact down the road and all would not be lost.

My worries are not unwarranted. I knew Stan, for instance, for about ten years and became very close to him during that time. I looked up to him as a role model because of his ethics and morals, and began calling him "dad" because, well, he was almost old enough to be a young father to me, he sometimes acted like my perception of one, and, since I had none to speak of anyway, why could I not choose one of my own? Lol But I digress. My point is that he was the greatest loss of several to me when I left that workplace. Thankfully, we still maintain a friendship outside of that realm, even if not often enough. But if we hadn't known each other so long and I had not made some effort, I may have had to resign myself to the chance meetings at the market. Blah.

My worries also stem from my childhood. I grew up in two states... Three, if you count where I emotionally grew up in addition to physically. I know not many children get to keep their friends their whole lives, but I was often different enough where it was hard to make and keep the few friends whose company I truly enjoyed... And then if I did make friends, I would soon be moving again. I did not find this much of a problem at the time but over time it began to wear me down and eventually I found solace behind a monitor. There, I made friends and I knew that if I moved I could take them with me. They were in this one box and even if I could not keep that one box, I could always find them in another one. It was awesome. Soon, though, I learned that not everyone put their online friends ahead of real life. Blah again.

At some point, I began establishing roots here... And met Dale, along with a myriad of new people which he brought with the merging of our lives. Then I switched jobs and met even more people. I began placing more emphasis on relationships and less on computerized ones, as scary as it was sometimes, and have found that I truly enjoy them, even if they can be tiring at times.

So, back to story before I lose it. I got to meet his wife again. Right. I also got invited over to their house after our activities were done. At first I was a little uncomfortable but that is of course normal. The children remembered me from before and that helped... For some reason, maybe because I am still "a children" in my heart, I get along easily with kids as far as finding something in common with them goes. I think he was a bit uncomfortable, too, because he was being very quiet and was not making any of his usual remarks or jokes or telling stories. Or maybe he was just lazing around the house on a saturday afternoon and did not really have it in him to be "normal." maybe this was a different side of him, we all have sides, right? Anywho, I can adapt, so I did. I took this as an opportunity to know the kids better and in the process of relating to them, kept one part of my mind on her, assessing, watching, learning. I discovered that at least in my presence, she is the primary authority for the kids and can be strict about preventing possible hurt feelings with others. I like that, because I have trouble drawing lines with children and this explained immediately why they show much restraint and respect despite their ages. As soon as I realized this, I was careful to be respective of it myself and cease any behaviour of my own that could teach the children that not everyone felt as she does about what they were doing. I saw it as advantageous to me, because it meant less conflict between them and us. I did not feel protective of myself because someone else was making sure I did not have to.

Her and I left to get pizza and in the process, she suggested I take some pictures of various ice sculptures. The venture of walking around with her was another opportunity to get to know her better and become more comfortable around just her. That worked amazingly well. She is very creative (duh) and I got to see some of the things she makes with yarn because we stopped in to a gallery where some of her work is displayed. I knew before that she is quite intelligent and uses it well, but I had not known much about the crafting side other than stamps from the last time we had met. One of the kids had also made some things there, and I was not surprised that it was the child I had long known to be most like her. My insides were all happy because I was beginning to like her on her own merits rather than what I kept hearing about her. I felt myself relax a bit and I hoped that my resulting layer of oddities would manifest as fun or eccentric and not just downright strange or eyebrow-raising. I never know what goes through someone else's head of course, but I am sure she was making similar assessments. What I do not have any clue about is whether those assessments were spurred because she wants to know me or whether she wants to know this person her husband knows, or whether she was just being polite and was getting to know me for his benefit. Whatever her motivations, I was happy to finally have a chance to get to know her, and perhaps establish a new friend in addition to establishing an external friendship with him outside of the usual realm.

Things seemed to be going well.

We eventually ended up back at their house, and she made chai for us (mmmmmm) after the pizza and other things we all came up with to do. He had come out of his odd quiet shell by now and I felt more at ease because the tension I thought I'd felt had melted, and I had food and mountain dew in me (oh yes they were quite nice and spared a Throwback, hee hee, that is another story).

I called Dale to let him know where I was, as I had expected to be home much sooner than it ended up being... In the end, I stayed late enough to see the kids go to bed and was surprised when one of them hugged me before tottering off to wherever they disappeared to for the night. I resolved not to stay much longer at that point, and called Dale again to let him know I would be on the road soon and he could expect me home in another hour to hour ten, depending on road conditions and the efficacy of my attempts to leave in a timely manner.

Oh! And Dale tested his freshly soldered board and discovered that it registers five volts, which was both expected and hoped for! Yay!!!!! Now he just needs one more part on the board and to program it, and put the rest of it together... ::tremble::

Surprisingly, my dreams are unmemorable. Usually when I experience new people and activities, I have vivid dreams, but not this time. I know my mind was digesting all the new information, though, because this morning I felt this need to write about the experiences from yesterday. I am sure that somewhere in those dreams, though, I was trying to figure out better ways to hold tiny little infinitismal resistors on a board... And for a split second when I woke up, I remembered the unrestrained openness of a child's hug and thought to myself that maybe I shouldn't be quite so tense in new situations. There is something rewarding about seeing oneself in a child's eyes.

Aight, the sun has already risen from our bed and taken off to seize the day, Dale following onits heels. I suppose it is time I do the same.

Carpe el diem!

~nv

20110210

Booger

My netbook is sick.

Last night, I had about 18 sites open in Chrome (that's the browser I use).  They were all about tea.  I left it sitting for a while as I went to the restroom, and when I came back my screen was plastered with a few "hey, your system is infected, let's scan it and install this and do that" popups.  I'm like, "[explicit F-Word]."  This is at around 9, and I was just on the verge of going to sleep anyway, but I stayed up to fix because, well, I was infuriated that the little geeky chickie infected her own laptop with something.  I know, it can happen to anyone, but still...

Well, after doing one scan and fixing some stuff, it wanted to reboot (normal).  I did so and was surprised to find that the screen was stuck at a blinking cursor.  Wouldn't boot at all.  Wouldn't even show that very first screen with all the computer's information before Windows comes up.  I was like, huh.  So I shut it off, turned it back on, and... same thing.  Huh.  Shut it off, took out battery, waited five minutes, back on, same thing.  Hm.  Growl.  Hm.

I tried the same sort of thing a few more times and was getting grumpier by the second.  It was already 10:30 by now, and I was exhausted, and still mad.  I was getting more and more upset that this could happen.  I employed what little imagination I had left at that hour to creatively strangle the authours of viruses and other ickware.  Then I resigned myself to the idea that Booger was over two years old, I paid very little for him compared to my other babies, and I'm in the process of saving for a new portable computer anyway.  His battery only lasts two hours now, down from ten two years ago.  Sigh.

As I powered him down for what I felt was the last time, the anger consumed me once again.  Being expendable all of a sudden, Booger got his battery yanked and the next thing I knew, I'd whipped him across the room in a short-lived tantrum.  Then I covered up and realized I was holding back tears that quickly spilled out all over my face.

Dale tried his best to comfort me at that point, but in the end I cried myself to sleep and got enough rest to be clearer in the morning.  I woke up and thought, Dale's right, there should be a way to reset the BIOS.  I was convinced it was in the BIOS because it wasn't even POSTing.  So I poked around and sure enough, there was a reset button on the bottom.  I looked it up and found that it helps if you can't shut down or cannot boot.  It actually did work.  I had to turn it on first, then hit the button.  It then finished POSTing, and wham, there was Windows.

I dragged the thing to work with me after attempts to download antivirus software failed (the internet connection kept getting slower and slower, then dying because of the infection).  In between tasks, I managed to hook up the hard drive to a junk pc with a bunch of scanning software on it, which I had loaded on there before for another scanning job weeks before.  Formatting it would not be an issue if it got infected with what I had, and it wasn't on Work's network, either.  So, I reasoned, very good place to scan my drive!

But the drive, even though it could see it, didn't show up as a drive letter.  I looked into the drive properties and it wasn't even showing volumes!  I thought, "WTF?" and immediately began suspecting the MBR.  However, I wasn't sure.

Well, I spoke to a couple of people at work and gleaned information as I went along.  In the end, it was the MBR, but it was NOT in addition to what I thought was the BIOS.  Turns out the BIOS has two settings, one that has a longer POST, and one (active) shorter POST.  Each looks for a different piece of the hard drive when handing things off to the MBR.  I could readily obtain set results by changing how it POSTed, and on a colleague's urging, realized that once Windows had booted, restarting would be OK because the hard drive had either been fixed by BIOS or something else was making it stay in memory while things progressed in the soft reboot.

Shut it all the way down, though, from Windows, and the next boot yielded the same results in that short POST.  This, my colleague correctly asserted, is ver indicative of an overwritten MBR.  He suggested I try another hard drive.  I did, and he was right - it booted fine, other than not having an OS, which I already knew would happen because the drive had been wiped clean.  But then I got, "Dude, you don't have crap on here" rather than "Ummm..."  My colleague explained that the BIOS might be pointing itself at two different spots on the hard drive, in other words, two different MBRs which are normally the same but one got overwritten by the virus and thus made things pretty sh**y for me.  I was advised to repair the MBR, and regardless of whether it worked, install 'nix and stop using Windows for my web browsing.  If I needed Windows, get a VM and use that instead.  Fine, I said to myself.  Good idea.  Hey, I know these things, doesn't mean I listen or like the idea...

Anywho, the BIOS was going, "Hey, hard drive?  Go ahead and fire up your stuff now."  The hard drive goes, "OK."  Then it consulted its map and instead of seeing the usual streets, it had only one.  So it drove down to the end of the street and stopped.  None of the buildings on that street had windows, so it sat there waiting for a streetlight to turn.  The streetlight was broken, too, so it never continued, and the poor little hard drive goes, "Huh, one heck of a long light."

In short, Windows is still there, but a friend and I had to repair the map so the hard drive could figure out where to go to find a house with Windows in it.  I had heard of this sort of thing occurring, but I'd never actually seen one.  The colleague at work had found it very amusing because this kind of virus is very old-school and you don't see it very often.

Now it's being scanned for the actual virus that caused the problem in the first place.

The funny part is that this is only the second time I got something, and the last one was the Colt virus back in 2001, which was one of the first ones in existence from my understanding at the time.  That one was easy to kill because I knew enough DOS at the time to immediately shut it down, think, and then boot off a diskette.  I had done a directly listing sorted by date and systematically deleted every file that had been modified in the past ten minutes.  That virus had modified 12 executables, all programs, so I only had to reinstall those apps over themselves.  I lost no data that day.  I seem to be a magnet for old-school crap.  Go figure.  The good thing is that a) I don't care if I have to wipe it out anyway and b) I know someone who knows about old-school things so I had a reference to hit up when I was trying to figure it out.  It is VERY interesting to me, how it works.  Much more interesting than the usual adware crap.  And, my friend and I had fun figuring out how to fix the MBR... it's not every day you have to remember commands, and when you do, it's even less likely for me at least to remember that it's from the Recovery Console.  Google is my fwend...

~nv

20110205

The mind

The mind is still out to get me in the morning.

Today I cracked an eyelid, saw daylight, and immediately squeezed it shut. Too late. I hear my mind scream, "DAYLIGHT!" No, no, I tell it, shhhh, go back to sleep... It is too early to be waking up, that was just a dream... Really, it is still dark out.

Mind says, "Nope, I saw daylight! DAYLIGHTTTTT! Daylight, I say! You could be playing the keyboard right now! You know that you did not play at all yesterday, right? Or how about the headlight? You could see about going out there and changing it before Dale even wakes up, and feel all proud of yourself for not letting him get involved, taking up more of his time! You could get tea! TEA! Why not get anice hot cup of TEA? You could make it in that kettle!"

I grunt inwardly and try to reason this out. "Keyboard can wait. Headlight would be easier with two peoplebecause of the battery and the cold. Dale wants to help, anyway. Tea... Why, okay, I do grant you that one... It does sound--"

"Settled, then. DAYLIGHT! Get up, writeabout me, pee, find tea, go change that headlight, get breakfast, play keyboard, call needed peoples, do some laundry, maybe vaccuum the upstairs --"

Dammit! It finagled awakeness in there again! And now it is in there doing its victory dance, excitedly running around in circles like it has drank a two-litre bottle of Mountain Dew. WTF? I want some...


Contentsofsignaturemaysettleduringshipping. -- Mike Beattie

20110204

Vegetation

The past three weeks have been a blur at work. This week things have
slowed down some, but I know there's another big thing lurking right
around the corner so I've been trying to take advantage of the
sorta-downtime and do the research I'm always sorely lacking.

Outside of work, there's company. We've got Amy of course, our
"neighbourhood" friend from the Co-Op here in town. She's really much
more like family now and we see more of her than anyone else. But
aside from her, we've seen a myriad of other folks over the past few
weeks... at least, I have. Another close friend of mine had a
birthday party and handed out "Don't Panic" towels to all who came.
(She turned 42, and for all of you who are not familiar with Douglas
Adams or his books, you will not understand the reference but be
assured it was an awesome theme.) In the past couple months I
attended that, two Pampered Chef parties, and soon I'll be making a
mask of my face. I've done "Team Building Bowling" with colleagues,
saw Caitlin Canty perform (she is _very_ good in person!), and saw at
least one movie; we've also dined with friends and family whether in
or out. And most workdays, I eat out at lunch with a friend and
colleague and get to discuss any number of things before going back to
work.

Finally, every evening, no matter how tired we are or how late we
stumble into bed (late for me is 11 of course, occasionally later)...
I get to pet Sinclair, shut out the lights, and say goodnight to the
most awesomest person in the world.

In these times of economic distress, I am keenly aware of how lucky we
are that we can enjoy good food and outings with those we love and
care about. I am glad to have a house to live in and a truck to
drive. It feels like Thanksgiving, and indeed every day is just that.

Still, on nights like tonight, I'm happy to just sit and vegetate.
I've been pretty busy all week... making room for a piano in the
spring, I moved a bunch of stuff around... then last night I realized
the house was still too messy so I ran around cleaning because I
thought I was having company twice today. Both, as it turns out, got
cancelled. Now I have a wonderfully clean house and can comfortably
and unexpectedly relax in it! So Dale and I are kicking back... he's
off to watch a movie my mother recommended and I'm over here writing
and we're eating pizza and drinking tea. I just discovered that Lisa
likes green peppers and she's managed to actually /eat/ every single
one off my pizza, and then some (I ran to swipe some more off the
pizza in the kitchen). I know her time on earth is much shorter now
and it's awesome to see her enjoying food so much... usually she
stashes everything, seldom actually eats in front of me like this
unless she really likes something. Wait... I /did/ feed her, right?
lol. (Yes, I did.)

I am very, very blessed. Just to top it all off and be particularly
thankful, Dale was a bit grumpy this morning (not that I would have
noticed had he not apologized for it) and didn't really want to go out
tonight, but intended to do so because we'd made plans to do so with
friends. Despite being very tired he went out and shoveled the second
driveway (where I park and intended to shovel myself since he always
shovels the other side). He offered to help me change my headlight
out. He ordered and picked up pizza. Then we found out we weren't
having company or going out after all. As he was doing the pizza, I
reminded him that I was thankful for him shoveling and all, but he
didn't have to do that, and I felt bad he was doing it because when I
decided to park there I insisted he didn't have to shovel two
driveways, just the one. He's like, "I guess I still feel guilty and
want to make up for this morning." By golly, if it makes him feel
better... but even though I wasn't even aware he was in such a bad
mood this morning, and didn't mind a driveway full of snow, he REALLY
didn't have to feel bad on my behalf! It does, however, demonstrate
one of those things I love about him... his sense of duty, right and
wrong, ethics, morals, whatever that is... he wants to do the right
thing, he wants to treat me well, and I'm very lucky to have that kind
of person in my life. I only hope I'm doing right by him, too. I
know I can be very self-centered at times, and I'm constantly watching
for that so I can try correcting it. This chickie knows what she has.
It's called a wonderful life, filled with Love. :)

On that note, I'm off to go read or something. Maybe I'll play some
keyboard... I've been trying to learn Canon In D by simply playing it
all the way through right-handed, regardless of how it sounds to me
now. My music teacher back in high school told us to learn each hand
separately and to learn the ENTIRE piece, never going back to the
beginning if you make a mistake, but continuing on. Otherwise, she
said, you don't get it sounding fluid once it's been learned. Never
faint of heart, of course I jumped back into reading one of my more
difficult pieces of sheet music. Not that it's difficult to play, but
I'm not really good at reading notes above the Treble staff or below
the Bass staff, so a good half or more of my notes are playing about
three seconds apart while I count lines and mentally tick off the
notes in my head. 12 pages turns into an hour really quickly at that
rate. But, it's my favourite classical piece, and I'm determined to
learn it before I get that piano. I aim to have it memorized before I
visit my mother again, too, so I can play it for her. My hope is that
I'll keep that determination long enough to actually succeed.

I think the "Don't Panic" towel will continue to prompt me. The empty
"piano" wall is helping, too.

!w

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Contentsofsignaturemaysettleduringshipping. -- Mike Beattie